According to the website M16, Kite Runner director Marc Forster, who is currently helming the latest Bond movie, said no to a repeat engagement as 007's director. I'm still wondering why Forster was there in the first place, unless I've forgotten that Finding Neverland was full of explosions and that Monster's Ball overflowed with death-defying stunts. The only tie Forster has to 007 is that he allowed Bond babe Halle Berry to make a bigger and more embarrassing spectacle of herself than Die Another Day did. I doubt that the Broccoli folks will allow Forster his usual dopey shots that scream out meaning in IMAX-sized letters (see that little white spoon going into the big mound of chocolate ice cream in Monster's Ball for a great example of this slop), but I still have reservations. I'm all for a reshaping of the franchise, and Casino Royale was a superb start, but all this talk about heart and loneliness indicate that Forster and the franchise are doing to Bond what John Singleton did to John Shaft: turning a beloved character into a sexless, brooding bore.

Case in point: The AP has reported that one of the Bond girls, Olga Kurylenko, doesn't even get to kiss Bond. "Why should I be disappointed," she asks. "I'm just doing my job." I'll tell you why, Miss Thing! Bond girls get to do the Libido Lambada with Bond. That's why they're Bond girls! Apparently, the guy must be dynamite in bed, and he also must have super strong condoms because nobody's ever invited him to the Maury show or a production of Rent. Getting the Bond girl is one part of the formula I can't tolerate them destroying. Call me sexist if you must, but there it is. Do you think Sean Connery would have settled for this politically correct baloney?

AP asks "do audiences want an emo Bond?" I don't want to listen to emo music, let alone bear witness to a neutered, brooding-like-a-teenager James Bond. Who's doing the theme song? Those "Hey There, Delilah" whiners? I'll hold off on final judgment until I see the blasted thing, but if this is what he's turning out, I'm glad Forster won't be back.

Tags: 007, Bond, Marc Forster