Finally, the guilty pleasure event of the year has arrived in Burlesque. Glitter and Showgirls are shaking in their butterfly tattoos. Highly dangerous drinking games will soon be spawned. Theme parties will eventually be thrown for the DVD release. Aspiring sluts you know will dress up as these characters for Halloweens to come. It is, to put it mildly, a major pop cultural deal. Or maybe not! Who knows if anybody will even see it? It could be the Snakes on a Plane of whore movies -- bloggers obsess over it, but nobody else in their right mind gives a hell about it. All I know is that I saw it, and it melted my face off with an atomic blast of Tucci-scented Lucite. So let's discuss all the ways in which this movie does not disappoint.
Heads are rolling down at TMZ headquarters this morning, I can almost guarantee you. Somehow, some way, at some point in history, Tom Cruise dated Cher and so far as I know, none of the tabloids broke the story. It took Tom Cruise's second stint of sofa sitting on Oprah's couch for that gem of news to pop out of the rough, and I end up reading about it on CNN of all places. All of me, from the responsible part that thinks CNN would do better using its resources sussing out facts and stories on the economy or the war, to the slightly louder part of my personality that is a proud check-out line reader of gossip rag filth, must say: That's not right.
As Zach mentioned yesterday in the Moviefile, there are rumors swirling about Cher playing Catwoman in Christopher Nolan's next Batman sequel. Or, rather, there were rumors. Over the weekend, the Telegraph was reporting that a "studio executive" said that Nolan wanted Cher to play the feline beauty as a "'vamp in her twilight years.'" Turns out it must have been Joe Magination, Senior Executive in Charge of Hooey, because a post at the Geeks of Doom has quashed that rumor. A response from Warner Bros. says simply: "Those casting rumors are untrue."