Keanu Reeves doesn't exactly have a spotless track record where period films are concerned. How does the joke go? His performance as Jonathan Harker in Bram Stoker's Dracula was so wooden you could have staked a vampire through the heart with it. Not that many of his performances in films with modern settings have gotten a better reception, but things do tend to stick out more in a period piece. It's like that one guy who shows up at your party not realizing it's a costume party and then stands around looking awkward for two hours. But give the guy credit for persevering: Variety reports that he's just signed on to star in 47 Ronin for Universal Pictures, where he'll play an 18th century samurai swordsman. Wait -- it gets better. Or worse, depending on your perspective.