Director Ridley Scott recently announced that he was about to begin work on a prequel to one of his most popular films, the sci-fi/horror/genre-defining movie Alien. While we can't deny that we'd love to see a good Alien movie, a prequel seems like the wrong way to go, since Sigourney Weaver's Ripley, the fan-favorite character from the series, couldn't be in it, and to show where exactly the xenomorphs come from would take all of the mystery out of them. We came up with a list of genre films that need prequels -- good ones -- more than Alien does, starting with another Ridley Scott film...
Today's Round-Up is a mixed bag. Sometimes you reach in and pull out a nugget of gold, and sometimes you pull out a cow pie. Sometimes you end up with a little of both. Let's just start with what is potentially the biggest pile to come out of the bag: Brett Ratner (Rush Hour 3, X-Men: The Last Stand) is close to signing a deal to direct the half-anticipated, half-dreaded Conan update. On the plus side, the writers reportedly looked to Robert E. Howard's original pulp stories of the 1930s to create their version of the sword-wielding barbarian. On the minus side for Ratner detractors, they're now "doing a quick polish" to work in some of the would-be director's ideas. What those ideas might be is left to your imagination. Perhaps Ratner will work all the crap out of his system on Beverly Hills Cop 4, which he's likely to complete before starting any other project.
If you're a fan of Conan the Barbarian, you're likely a fan of Red Sonja, his female counterpart, also created by Robert E. Howard. However, you're likely not a fan of her 1985 movie starring Brigitte Nielsen. Despite featuring Ah-nuld as a less-exciting warrior named Kalidor, it was campy as hell, with a kid sidekick and some fat comic relief, and the final nail in the coffin was that it deprived Sonja of her trademark steel bikini and gave her a ridiculously bad hairdo. Well, Rose McGowan has apparently been cast as the new Sonja, and if anyone was ever born to wear a steel bikini, it was her. (Sorry, Jennifer Lopez.)
Djimon Hounsou made quite a stir back in March when he revealed that he was developing his "dream project," something that had to do with Conan comic books -- especially since a Conan movie is in the works without a cast attached. But rumors of Hounsou playing Conan were officially put to rest today with the announcement that he will play Thulsa Doom, a character from the Conan and Red Sonja comics, who was played by James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian.
You hear about them all the time -- awesome Hollywood props going for big bucks and then getting locked away somewhere where no one will ever see them again. Isn't it time we took back these historical treasures? And by "take back," I mean shouldn't we buy them ourselves, and lock them away somewhere where only we and a handful of our friends will ever see them again? Well, now's our chance -- online site liveauctioneers.com is hosting a big Hollywood auction, with tons of film-used superhero costumes (Superman, X-Men, Daredevil, Batman, Captain America and both the movie and TV Spider-Men), as well as a ton of items from Terminator, Jurassic Park, Blade Runner, Highlander and Conan, and it ends August 1st, which means we have to move quick.
A while back we reported on how the producers of the Witchblade movie had released a teaser poster before a writer or director had been chosen. Since no actors had actually signed on, a generically sexy female was shown on the poster wearing the Witchblade gauntlet. But once the teaser site went up spotlighting the scantily clad superheroine, the film quickly gained a director and a writer -- so why hasn't that worked for Conan?
Right after I learned that Robert Rodriguez would be producing a Red Sonja movie starring his live-in starlet Rose McGowan, I heard that the two had split up, and immediately panicked. What would become of the film? Would there be a new actress? Or a new producer? Or a new, dead film in the gutters of Hollywood? Well, apparently, nothing has changed; furthermore, my prediction that this movie would be worth it just for the chain-mail-bikini promotional artwork has totally come true.
What's exciting and new in the world of Movies Without Pity this week? These were our top stories:
Quantum of Solace: Reviewed! -- What drove Zach to review the kick-ass sequel to Casino Royale? Revenge.
Edward Cullen's Guide to Dating -- The Twilight star teaches his fellow vamps how to score with teenage girls.
Alternate Titles for Quantum of Solace -- My favorite? You Only Blink Never. I think it would have killed.
Brett Ratner to Direct Conan/Joe Johnston to Direct Captain America -- Boo-yay! (That's a boo and a yay mixed together.)
New Watchmen Movie Trailer Breakdown - Short version? It's awesome if you're a newbie and controversial if you're a nerd.
Trailers Without Pity -- Our newest vlog rips apart the trailer for The Tale of Despereaux, which is like making fun of young fish who don't know any better in a barrel that they consider a safe zone.
Australia: The Paul Hogan Story -- Baz Luhrmann's new Ozzie epic works equally well as a "Crocodile" Dundee biopic.
Clone Wars and Kung Fu Panda DVD Reviews -- Find out whether these animated DVDs are worth buying or just renting.
Sequel Alert! -- A Twilight sequel is a no-brainer. The Cloverfield sequel should be a higher priority. A Universal Soldier sequel should be reconsidered.