As an office full of Crank fans, we're psyched to see Gamer, the next project from Crank and Crank: High Voltage directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. Maybe it's because it looks like it has a lot in common with the Cranks, as far as hyperkinetic action and video game iconography go, but it may also be that the plot reminds us of some of our favorite movies of the past. In Gamer, a convict named Kable is a remote-controlled soldier in a real-life video game, and he only needs to win three more games to win his freedom. Maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's just coincidence, but here are a few of the films that we think of whenever we watch the Gamer trailer.
Thomas Jane totally looks like a comic-book character -- square jaw, cleft chin, good-looking -- but should he ever be allowed to play one ever again? I've been told repeatedly that The Punisher was god-awful (I figured it out from the trailers, thanks), and if Jane couldn't see the badness in the script, then his comic book license should be revoked. (To be fair, it looked pretty faithful to the comic book, but there are some Garth Ennis stories that should never be put to film. Most, actually.) Well, now Jane wants to be in another comic book movie, and if I cared more about the character, or had read more than one or two issues of his book, I'd be concerned.
We're huge fans of Jason Statham around here, so I'm not asking this question lightly. It's just that, as Jason Statham makes more movies and becomes more and more deservedly well-known, after a while he's not exclusively ours anymore. Which is awesome, because The Statham should be the biggest action star on the planet, and I can't wait for that. But everyone seems to be in on the Jason Statham joke now (including him by the way, because he's amazing), so, like I did when Old School propelled Will Ferrell from the Palomino-loving lunatic doctor only a few people I knew quoted outside of his W. sketches to the giant comedy star everyone on the planet loved, I think it's time to let The Statham go off to college to discover himself while I take a new under-appreciated star under my bloggy wing. I've been thinking hard on this, and I've decided my new favorite might just be this John Cena character. Let's discuss this important matter after the jump.
If you thought Neveldine and Taylor's previous film outings, Crank and Crank High Voltage, were like live-action video games, Gamer takes it to the logical next step. Imagine the kinetic violence and sex of Crank combined with that Chappelle's Show sketch where Dave goes on the Internet, a nondescript mall where Ron Jeremy shows you his junk and people give you free illegal movies, and you start to get an idea of what this movie is like.
Jason Statham is a force of nature. Whether he's behind the wheel of a car, running flat-out down a city street or having sex with Amy Smart on a mailbox, the man can do anything and look good doing it. And after watching him punch, kick and drive through three Transporter movies, two Cranks and one unfortunate Uwe Boll film, we've started to mentally insert him into other gritty, high-octane movies of the past, usually in the place of other, less-intense actors. He was great in the reinvented Death Race, so why not let him Statham up some other action classics? Here are ten we'd like to see.
The Transporter 3 teaser trailer has arrived, and if you're someone who hates these kinds of movies, you will hate this trailer. But if you enjoyed the straight-up lunacy of the first two Transporter films, then it should be pretty satisfying. High-end sedans doing stunts that defy the laws of physics and play by the laws of Statham? Check! Statham kicking the shit out of European henchmen? Check! Familiar high-stakes plot element? Check! (Statham has been fitted with a remote control wrist bangle that explodes at the villain's whim, much like Arnold's prison collar in Running Man.)