Well, it's official: Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. True, the sentence is only for 90 days, and now it seems like it's only going to be about 25 days, and the last time she was in jail it was only for 84 minutes, but it's still going to put a crimp in her moviemaking schedule. (When will her Linda Lovelace biopic be completed now?) Luckily, this will open up a whole new genre for her -- prison movies! With her newfound prison cred and, hopefully, scared-straight work ethic, studios will be scrambling to get Lohan behind bars again, this time for a hefty paycheck. Here are a few prison films we think Lohan should remake, with storylines custom-tailored for the actress's professional and criminal rap sheet.
As an office full of Crank fans, we're psyched to see Gamer, the next project from Crank and Crank: High Voltage directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. Maybe it's because it looks like it has a lot in common with the Cranks, as far as hyperkinetic action and video game iconography go, but it may also be that the plot reminds us of some of our favorite movies of the past. In Gamer, a convict named Kable is a remote-controlled soldier in a real-life video game, and he only needs to win three more games to win his freedom. Maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's just coincidence, but here are a few of the films that we think of whenever we watch the Gamer trailer.
Jason Statham certainly has been staying busy lately. He just wrapped up filming on Paul W.S. Anderson's Death Race and a third Transporter movie, he's currently working on a Crank sequel (which, regrettably, is not called Crankier), and The Brazilian Job is finally set to begin production. The latter is not the story of an extreme crotch wax gone horribly wrong, but a long talked-about sequel to 2003's The Italian Job. Lucky they're finally getting on with that; if they'd waited a few more years his character "Handsome Rob" might have had to change his nickname to "Aging Rob." All in all, it's not a bad time to be Jason Statham.
We're huge fans of Jason Statham around here, so I'm not asking this question lightly. It's just that, as Jason Statham makes more movies and becomes more and more deservedly well-known, after a while he's not exclusively ours anymore. Which is awesome, because The Statham should be the biggest action star on the planet, and I can't wait for that. But everyone seems to be in on the Jason Statham joke now (including him by the way, because he's amazing), so, like I did when Old School propelled Will Ferrell from the Palomino-loving lunatic doctor only a few people I knew quoted outside of his W. sketches to the giant comedy star everyone on the planet loved, I think it's time to let The Statham go off to college to discover himself while I take a new under-appreciated star under my bloggy wing. I've been thinking hard on this, and I've decided my new favorite might just be this John Cena character. Let's discuss this important matter after the jump.
In a week of low-wattage premieres, the thrown-into-the-spotlight Tropic Thunder has topped the box office once again. Between Ben Stiller going "full retard," Robert Downey Jr. going "full blackface" and Tom Cruise going "full fat, Jewish guy," the buzz and controversy translated into another $16.1 million this weekend, racking up a total of $65.6 million since its debut on August 13th. Which left new films The House Bunny and Transporter Thr-- er, Death Race in second and third place with $15.1 million and $12.3 million, respectively (if not respectfully).