It's almost impossible not be disappointed by the experience of actually watching The Expendables. It just promises too much! It's the Snakes on a Plane of South American dictators' castles being blown to hell by everybody's childhood favorites and six tons of C-4, you know? But I still enjoyed it, even if didn't melt my face off in exactly the ways I wanted it to.
Is there something like the SPCA, only for action stars that maybe aren't quite as youthful as they once were? I can't help but think someone, somewhere needed to step in where The Spy Next Door is concerned and get Jackie Chan out of there. As some former knock-'em-out stars start heading toward their fifties and beyond, they try to transition into more mainstream roles. This isn't always easy, and some missteps will be made. In Chan's case, the missteps are becoming full-fledged leaps, as news come down the wire that Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez have just been cast to co-star with him in the comedy about mistaken identities. The two latest additions play CIA agents. The lineup, the premise... the whole thing has a "direct-to-DVD" sort of feel to it.
It's hard to believe that a few years ago, Sylvester Stallone was pretty much off the radar, playing a villain in a Spy Kids movie with his glory days largely behind him. Now, after making another Rocky movie and another Rambo movie, all of a sudden everyone wants to work with him. (Let this be a lesson to all those actors out there who don't want to be in franchises.) As previously reported, Sly has written a new action movie for himself to direct and star in, and the cast he's assembled so far -- combined with the actors he's still going after -- is mind-bogglingly awesome.
He-Man fans have been jerked around for a long time -- pretty much since day one, in fact. They grew to love the early '80s toy line and cartoon despite conflicting backstories, then were rewarded with a fairly ridiculous live-action movie in 1987. Toymaker Mattel's attempt to remake it as a BSG-style sci-fi epic in 1990 was a failure on multiple levels, while its creatively successful 2002 revamp was merely a failure at retail and was prematurely canceled. Last week, fans were anticipating both a new live-action movie from Warner Bros. as well as a new, classically styled toy line; this week, they'll have to content themselves with the toys, because the movie is apparently deader than King Grayskull. ...If you didn't get that reference, then you probably don't care either way.