Going the Distance is a romantic comedy built on an uncomfortable foundation -- it stars two people who have dated in real life -- that tries way too hard, and fails in a lot of areas. For one thing, it's more of a list of one-liners than a romance, and its one-dimensional couple is really only in it to give their jokey friends a reason for existing, and that's only two of the many things that are bad about this movie. But there is one thing that is not bad about this movie: it's honestly pretty funny. I know, I couldn't believe it either.
Before you go to see this feel-good romp about a girl who discovers roller derby and first love in the same week, there are a few things you should know about Whip It! (Exclamation theirs. I would have gone with an ellipsis.)
This Friday marks the release of He's Just Not That In To You, the über-chick-flick we've all been
dreading waiting for. Produced by Drew Barrymore and starring everyone and their mom, the film allegedly dispenses some tough-love conventional wisdom about dudes, dating, monogamy and rejection in the digital age. But with humor! And bonus: Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it's loosely based on a self-help book of the same name that was, in turn, based on an episode of Sex and the City. Below are nine reasons I'm just not that into this stupid excuse for a movie.
Look out, Hollywood -- it's about to get all Clammy up in here. Wayne McClammy, which is not a pseudonym, as far as we know, was the director behind both the "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" and "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" music videos that ran on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, and now he's gonna make a feature film. The movie, called Cool School (uh, really?), will center on advertising executives in their early 30s who are sent back to high school to find out what it means to be cool. Now, as hilarious a premise as that sounds, McClammy has some big shoes to fill -- there have been many great "adults going back to school" movies, and unless he wants it to be just another Old School, he should go back and learn from the masters. Here are six "adult education" movies worth copying notes off of.
If you didn't see today's movie DVD releases in the theaters, don't worry -- you didn't miss much. In fact, most of these movies are best enjoyed on DVD, for both financial and multi-tasking reasons. Put them on in the background as you crochet and/or drink.
According to that cartoon, All Dogs Go To Heaven. A much hotter fate may befall Beverly Hills Chihuahua, the latest in a series of talking animal movies begat by original white rapper Rex Harrison's Doctor Dolittle. EW thinks the movie will survive the critical drubbing it will receive to become the surprise hit of the fall. I think EW is, to quote Big Daddy Kane, on dope or dog food. Voiced by Drew Barrymore, the BHC gets lost in Mexico and has adventures with a bunch of other dogs voiced by Latino actors like Paul Rodriguez and George Lopez. All of whom try to mount the rich bitch at some point -- oh wait, this is a Disney picture. I meant to say "all of whom just fart and say curses."