Nope, that joke still isn't old. But lest you think that I am actually calling Brad Pitt and Simon Pegg total jerks (they're not -- Pitt speaks up for causes around the world, and Pegg gladly shakes hands with nerds), what I actually mean is that they are both involved in bastard-related casting news. Pitt has definitely signed on to play Lt. Aldo Raines, the Tennessee-born hillbilly leader of the Nazi-killing WWII Army unit known as the Inglorious Bastards, the subject (and title) of writer/director Quentin Tarantino's next film. Tarantino flew to France specifically to recruit the actor, and the news that he has accepted has made me stab several pictures of Nazis in excitement. (I currently do not have access to real Nazis.)
Now that things are really cooking on Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards, yet another bit of casting news has come rolling down the pipeline. Not a day after it was announced that director Eli Roth was joining the cast as the baseball bat-wielding Donnie Donowitz, it was announced this morning that The Office's B.J. Novak has signed on as well. Novak will play PFC Utivich, who is described as a soldier of slight build who comes from New York. In the script, Utivich quickly ascends the ranks and by midway through the movie has attained the rank of Major and grown a fugly beard. While I was maybe lying about that second part, this will be Novak's first movie since the small part he played in last year's Knocked Up. And since his character Ryan on The Office is apparently on his way to jail, which will most likely cut down on his screen time, scheduling shouldn't be too big of a problem.
Eli Roth is shaping up to be a triple threat -- literally. Not only does the horror auteur maim and murder in the scripts he writes (Cabin Fever, Hostel, Hostel 2) and the movies he directs (uh, same three), now it looks like he's going to play a maimer and a murderer on screen himself. Fellow triple threat Quentin Tarantino, a longtime supporter of Roth and his often-imitated brand of torture porn, has cast him in his upcoming war movie, Inglorious Bastards. Roth would play a Bastard. ...You know, I think that'll get old by the time they cast the entire squad, but for now, it's damn fun to say. Eli Roth, the Bastard. Yes, I'm eight.