If nothing else, this weekend's dueling '80s remakes offer some instructive lessons in how to -- and how not to -- update a pair of widely liked films that still loom large in the pop culture imagination... at least for those folks old enough to remember the difference between a Goonie and a Gremlin. Craig Brewer's Footloose is a strikingly faithful adaptation of Herbert Ross's 1984 "rebel with a cause (and a groovy beat)" teen musical that rocketed Kevin Bacon to stardom. Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.'s The Thing is technically a prequel to, but really a loose remake of, John Carpenter's 1982 monster movie, which bombed in theaters at the time but has since become a genre touchstone. As is often the case with remakes, neither movie is likely to supplant the original in moviegoers' hearts. But only one truly deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as its predecessor. The other is destined to remain in obscurity, living out the rest of his post-theatrical days in the discount DVD bin at big box stores and the 2 AM timeslot on a random cable movie network.

Tags: Footloose, The Thing

Dig it, you dancing queens.

Tags: Footloose, Immortals, Jack and Jill

The day that every child of the '80s has dreaded is here: the just-released trailer for Craig Brewer's Footloose confirms that this remake of the beloved 1984 classic is a real thing that will actually be in theaters in October to teach a whole new generation about the dangers of censorship and the exhilaration of dancing around abandoned warehouses in a wife beater. Based on this early glimpse, Footloose 2.0 looks an awful lot like its predecessor, right down to the VW Bug our hero Ren (professional dancer Kenny Wormald slipping into the tight, tight jeans previously worn by Kevin Bacon) drives around the small Southern burg of Bomont, which has banned dancing and "dangerous" music after five kids died in a car accident following a wild party. Sure there's a lot of truth to the old saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," but there are a few ways Brewer could update the '84 version to reflect this modern age. For example...

Tags: Footloose

My casting dreams came true this week when Chace Crawford was announced as Zac Efron's replacement in that completely necessary remake of Footloose we're getting. Since this is irrefutable proof that I am psychic, I thought I'd toss out some other random '80s movies the Gossip Girl kids will most definitely be remaking in the near future. Because why let the rest of the decade's pop culture go by unbastardized, you know? Oh, and remember -- the theme is '80s movies. Say Blair should remake Breakfast at Tiffany's in the comments and you will be ridiculed. Alright, let's go, people! It's fan fiction time!

Tags: Chace Crawford, Footloose, Gossip Girl

I'm not going to lie -- Zac Efron, for all the High School Musical-y stuff he's done (I can't drive two blocks without seeing him jumping ecstatically in a cap and gown), earned my respect for his stint as Link in Hairspray. For all the fun I'd normally make of a guy with hair as floppy and in need of cutting as his, I won't, because what John Waters has joined together, let no blogger put asunder. So, it is with humility and a straight face that I bring you the news that the Footloose remake that will star one Mr. Zac Efron, has gotten the blessing of Kevin Bacon. I'm sure we'll all sleep better.

Tags: Footloose, High School Musical, HSM3, Kevon Bacon, musical, remake, Zac Efron