Finally, the guilty pleasure event of the year has arrived in Burlesque. Glitter and Showgirls are shaking in their butterfly tattoos. Highly dangerous drinking games will soon be spawned. Theme parties will eventually be thrown for the DVD release. Aspiring sluts you know will dress up as these characters for Halloweens to come. It is, to put it mildly, a major pop cultural deal. Or maybe not! Who knows if anybody will even see it? It could be the Snakes on a Plane of whore movies -- bloggers obsess over it, but nobody else in their right mind gives a hell about it. All I know is that I saw it, and it melted my face off with an atomic blast of Tucci-scented Lucite. So let's discuss all the ways in which this movie does not disappoint.
Will someone cast Kristen Bell in a mystery movie that doesn't involve solving the mystery of love and relationships? That Veronica Mars movie ain't happening, and we need to see her doing some surveillance, stat.
Star Wars fanboys. They're everywhere -- especially in Hollywood. So when it was announced that someone was making a movie called Fanboys, chronicling five Midwestern geeks' cross-country trip to steal a copy of Star Wars: Episode I for their friend with terminal cancer, there were plenty of famous fanboys ready and willing to be involved. Director Kyle Newman lined up a host of celebu-nerds to make cameos in the film, ranging from geek icons to actual Star Wars film legends. If the killer leads (Sam "Superman Returns" Huntington! Dan "Balls of Fury" Fogler! Jay "Tropic Thunder" Baruchel!) weren't enough to convince you to see it, we thought we'd run down the celebrity eye candy that will teach you the true meaning of the Force. (Note: While we try to avoid giving out any spoiler-ish plot information, we are totally killing any surprise that you may get from these actors showing up. Be warned!)
When I first heard about a movie in the works called Fanboys -- the tale of five twentysomethings driving cross-country to steal a copy of Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace -- I thought, "Really? They want to steal The Phantom Menace? Why?" Then I remembered back to right before Episode I came out, and how excited I was about it... and I still couldn't believe it. But then, I was graduating college in May of 1999, so I guess I was a little distracted, but my friends and I must have seen it on opening night, didn't we? Maybe? I honestly can't remember. Obviously, I'm not a die-hard, lifelong Star Wars fan like the characters in this movie. (Although I did buy the Episode I soundtrack, for some reason.) So while Fanboys sounded funny, and like something I might want to see, I didn't obsessively count the minutes until it came out. A good thing, too, because it didn't come out for another three years.