I really should have looked into studying merchandising when I went to college. It seems to be one of those fields in which scores of people throw their ideas against a wall and every single thing sticks. And the company out there with the most crap stuck to their walls? Disney. I don't think they turn anyone's idea down. A plush chair in the shape of Ratatouille's Anton Ego? Sure, kids! Have a seat in the scary guy's lap. I think I even remember an Aladdin candy dispenser in the shape of a lamp that you had to actually rub in order to get the goods. Walking through the hallways of their merchandising/licensing department is probably like running the gauntlet through a cafeteria food fight, only instead of getting beaned by half-eaten tuna sandwiches and little cartons of milk, you're dodging stuffed Monsters Inc. plush dolls and 101 Dalmatians lunch boxes.
At the Licensing Expo in New York this weekend, MGM unveiled a teaser poster for the upcoming Robocop remake. Aside from the fact that Robocop will apparently be played by the X-Men's Cyclops, no details have been released, except that it's due out in 2010 and can never, ever be as good as the original. Seriously, why even try? The only good thing about this is that they can get rid of the terrible Nancy Allen, and use a CGI ED-209 instead of the stop-motion animation they used in the original. Oh, and they can totally get Kurtwood Smith to come back and play Clarence Boddicker again.
Meanwhile, in the category of "Movies that Could Actually be Improved the Second Time Around," Robocop will be joined by a remake of 1980s Commie invasion flick Red Dawn, which starred a young Patrick Swayze, according to this article in last month's Hollywood Reporter. Maybe if Swayze's health continues to improve, he can play the imprisoned dad in the remake. I want to see him in a concentration camp, yelling at the top of his lungs, "AVENGE ME!"