Well, it's official: Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. True, the sentence is only for 90 days, and now it seems like it's only going to be about 25 days, and the last time she was in jail it was only for 84 minutes, but it's still going to put a crimp in her moviemaking schedule. (When will her Linda Lovelace biopic be completed now?) Luckily, this will open up a whole new genre for her -- prison movies! With her newfound prison cred and, hopefully, scared-straight work ethic, studios will be scrambling to get Lohan behind bars again, this time for a hefty paycheck. Here are a few prison films we think Lohan should remake, with storylines custom-tailored for the actress's professional and criminal rap sheet.
In Hollywood, apparently all you need to establish "nerdy" is a pair of glasses, limp hair and some frumpy clothing. Unfortunately, while unusual-looking leading men are plentiful in Hollywood, unusual-looking leading women must be in short supply, because the movies have a tendency to "nerd up" gorgeous young starlets and try to convince us that they are friendless outcasts. In Jennifer's Body, Amanda Seyfried dons the glasses to play the nerdy, less-popular friend of Megan Fox, despite being every bit as pretty -- as if her friend wouldn't give her any fashion tips! Ellen Page will similarly nerd up for Whip It next month, and the pair have gotten us thinking about the other adorable women of Hollywood who have worn the glasses, the lab coats and the sweats of the nerd. Keep in mind that this list doesn't include the generally frumped-up (Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich), the nerdy-in-flashback (Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed) and the supermodel scientists that aren't even trying (any female mathematician or computer tech in a James Bond movie).
Like a lady going through the seemingly endless agony of contractions and finally squeezing out a ten-pound screaming baby, filmmakers are finally birthing Labor Pains. The film had encountered trouble when Capitol Films faced a "cash crunch," according to Variety, placing it in "limbo" for a time. This is the same difficulty that affected Nailed last month, but Labor picked up new financing at Cannes thanks to Nu Image/Millennium Films Overnight Productions. (The name just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?) Now with production set to begin next week, they've announced that Lindsay Lohan has signed on to star.
Thanks to relentless movie marketing, you know what movies are out now. And thanks to theatrical trailers, you know what's coming soon. But where do you go to find out about the movies that are just now being made, and won't be "coming soon" for a while yet? You come here. Welcome to Coming Soonish, our weekly round-up of the week's best/weirdest in-development movie news. Check back each week for more development tidbits, including some films that may actually get made!
In honor of this week's release of Race to Witch Mountain and how non-Shaggy Dog-level horrifying it looks, we thought we'd reminisce about a special group of Disney movies -- the rare, the few, the not that terribly objectionable remake. Since remakes are usually as childhood-rapey as they are terrible, I could only think of five, though I'm sure there are some die-hard Flubber fans out there who will cry bloody murder over its omission. (So much sarcasm! There are no die-hard Flubber fans anywhere. Aye-yi-yi, let's get going on this already!)
Oh my god, you guys. Lindsay Lohan's mom just won a Mother of the Year award. Radar is reporting that it was completely without irony too, which totally blows my mind. Now, I hate giving the woman any more press than she already gets as she clearly craves it and doesn't deserve it, but it's a really slow news day in Hollywood, and Dina Lohan was presented with a Mother of the Year award! OMFG.
Who wins in a fight to the death between Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley? Natalie Portman, that's who.
OK, maybe it wasn't really a fight to the death in the literal sense. Lohan and Knightley had just previously been reported to be figuratively duking it out for the role of Catherine Earnshaw in the newest version of Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights. In the end, it's Portman who gets to fall in love with her dark, mysterious, and vindictive stepbrother, Heathcliff out on the English moors.
Did they mean to hire Portman, though? She's a fine actress, and will no doubt pull off the role. There's no problem there. But with Knightley in the running, did they just mistake one for the other? If so, it wouldn't be the first time. Portman's Cathy could probably stand to have a decoy. One for going off to marry mild-mannered Edgar and haunt the windows at Thrushcross Grange while the other one goes traipsing off with Heathcliff for some brooding, forbidden love. Let Portman and Knightley fight that one out to see who plays which role. No one would be any the wiser! Except maybe the accounting department that has to cut checks for an additional top-billed actor.
Really, though, Wuthering Heightshas been told and retold so many times that it might be interesting (hopefully) to see what director John Maybury plans to bring to this latest version. At least there's no sign so far that this will be a hip-hop musical or an MTV original movie, like the most recently retelling of the Bronte classic.
Movie Trivia: Merle Oberon, who starred in what for many is the definitive version with Laurence Olivier, played Anne Boleyn previous to playing Cathy. Portman also played Anne in The Other Boleyn Girl.
If Shia LaBoeuf crashes his car and no one is there to see it, will it make a sound? The answer to that is yes, and the sound is that of another young star hurting his career. Oh, and the video cameras (at the scene in time to catch his car upside-down) and media buzz, of course. We wouldn't want to forget that.