Talk about your perfect match. The Farrelly Brothers, masters of slapstick and gross-out (mostly gross-out) humor, have written an origin story for the Three Stooges, stars of film shorts and features from the 1930s through the 1960s. Everyone knows the personas of bowl-cut boss Moe, curly-haired commentator Larry and cue-balled imbecile Curly (heck, they may even know the personas of later Stooges Shemp, Joe and Curly Joe), but nobody knows where the heck they came from. Well, if MGM gets the rights back from Warner Bros., they could have a movie on screens by November 20, 2009. Let us give thanks!
My Great Aunt Muriel's old excuse for holding onto her VCR -- and eschewing the purchase of such "new" technology as a DVD player -- was that there were more titles on video tape, and that there was no way she'd ever be able to replace all (eight) of the movies in her library to make the DVD player purchase worth it. If she hadn't died five years ago, I'd print out this article from the Hollywood Reporter and mail it to her with a Best Buy gift card. The number of films now available on DVD has passed 90,000. I didn't even know there were more than 90,000 films out there. Turns out by December 31st of this year, there will be 90,440 movies that you can take back to Blockbuster without having to rewind them.
At the Licensing Expo in New York this weekend, MGM unveiled a teaser poster for the upcoming Robocop remake. Aside from the fact that Robocop will apparently be played by the X-Men's Cyclops, no details have been released, except that it's due out in 2010 and can never, ever be as good as the original. Seriously, why even try? The only good thing about this is that they can get rid of the terrible Nancy Allen, and use a CGI ED-209 instead of the stop-motion animation they used in the original. Oh, and they can totally get Kurtwood Smith to come back and play Clarence Boddicker again.
Meanwhile, in the category of "Movies that Could Actually be Improved the Second Time Around," Robocop will be joined by a remake of 1980s Commie invasion flick Red Dawn, which starred a young Patrick Swayze, according to this article in last month's Hollywood Reporter. Maybe if Swayze's health continues to improve, he can play the imprisoned dad in the remake. I want to see him in a concentration camp, yelling at the top of his lungs, "AVENGE ME!"