The Mark Wahlberg video-game adaptation Max Payne recently came out on DVD, and consider me one of the 18% who think the movie was pretty damn good. I'm not a gamer, so I can't compare it to the source material, but I enjoyed the hell out of it, and that goes a long way with a movie like this. I'm not saying it's Oscar-worthy or anything, but if there was an Oscar given out to video game movies starring overrated actors, this one would totally deserve it, because it has so many things working against it, and I still thought it was a blast. Because I'm 13 years old, apparently. See the five obstacles it faced -- and surpassed -- after the jump.
Earlier this month, Das Gamer posted an interview in which director John Moore bemoaned the fact that the Motion Picture Association of America gave his Max Payne an R rating. Normally, this wouldn't be surprising, as the video games on which the movie is based earned "Mature" ratings from the ESRB, the gaming world's equivalent of an R movie. But the news did surprise Moore, who not only aimed for a tamer rating while filming, but saw The Dark Knight's PG-13 and expected to earn the same for his own movie. The association's reasoning, according to Moore, was that it "felt dark." Well, what a difference a few weeks makes. Game Daily is now reporting that Moore has won his battle with the MPAA and gotten Payne its PG-13.
Mark Wahlberg's videogame adaptation Max Payne managed to unseat Beverly Hills Chihuahua after the talking-dog movie had been at the top of the weekend box office for two weeks in a row. But no other new release did better than a third helping of Chihuahua. I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me for not thinking that movie could possibly be good. But I'm going to stick with what I said last week: The problem lies with America.
Here are some of the top movie-related stories from Movies Without Pity this week:
Marky Mark's House of Payne -- We hypothesize Marky Mark's rap soundtrack to Mark Wahlberg's Max Payne. Tighty-whiteys not included.
Alan Moore Endorses Watchmen Movie! -- ...Yeah, that's an old headline from 1987. But apparently, he was totally on board back then.
Raaarrrgh! Hulk DVD Smash Expectations! -- The Incredible Hulk DVD comes out on Tuesday, and we tell you what you need to know before you go and buy it.
W.: Oliver Stone's Conspiracy Notebook -- Ollie Stone is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, and thinks the cast of W. is out to get him, if his set diary is any indication.
Star Trek Movie Images Explode like the U.S.S. Reliant -- J.J. Abrams has set off a clusterbomb of Trek movie pictures. Never before has a blurry picture of Scott delighted so many. (Okay, me.)
Quentin Tarantino's Sex Drive -- Did you know QT wrote the original screenplay for Sex Drive? Neither did we! Or anyone else. (It's not true.)
Dan and Zach Talk About Watchmen -- Not a sequel to Zack and Miri Make a Porno, but judging by how turned-on they are by 25 minutes of Watchmen footage, it might as well be.
Some people look to movie stars for tips about the latest starvation diet secrets or how to properly maintain one's hair extensions. Some may look to directors for insight about how to handle long work hours, or how to manage the egos of our bosses and coworkers. But they have other advice to offer, advice we can put to use in our own lives in very practical ways. Or at least we can mock it a little. First up is advice from writer/director/"actor" M. Night Shyamalan. According to MTV, the worst advice actor Mark Wahlberg ever got was from Shyamalan. Are you shocked? Neither am I.
Two sequels that couldn't be any more different if they tried battled it out at the box office this weekend, and it turns out the cheesy dancers beat out the crazed, torture-inflicting madman. That's right, High School Musical 3: Senior Year out-muscled Saw V -- and, if you listened closely, you could almost hear the sound of Disney execs crying that they had released the first two HSM movies on TV. Just look at all those buckets of money they could have made if they'd only released in theaters. (Not that the HSM franchise hasn't made Disney more money than most of us can fathom anyway.)