Whether you'll be sitting down to a turkey dinner or a Tofurkey lunch this Thanksgiving, we invite you to reflect upon the following ten movies from 2008. They weren't necessarily the lowest-grossing pictures of the year, but they failed to live up to financial expecations, in a big way. These suckers plummeted to the earth, flightless and doomed, like those poor gobblers dropped from a helicopter in that famous episode of WKRP in Cincinnati. It's not hard to imagine some of the investors saying, much like dazed radio station manager Arthur Carlson, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." But they couldn't, and they can't, so they've landed here with a resounding thud.
Let's play a guessing game. What movie, if any, will unseat Will Smith's Hancock this weekend? Well, let's look at what's opening and make an educated guess. First up is the sequel to that OTHER superhero movie that's opening in July, Hellboy II. The first one made money, and is something of a cult classic, and (like Dark Knight) Hellboy II reunites its cast with the director of its predecessor. I loved the original film, but this in no way has the same drawing power as Will Smith. Fans of Pan's Labyrinth director Guillermo Del Toro will go, as will Hellboy fans, but that's not enough.
Sometimes you get a nice slow one pitched across the plate. To promote Meet Dave, the new Eddie Murphy movie opening July 11th, Twentieth Century-Fox is using a 15-foot replica of Murphy's head. The 3-ton noggin has made appearances in Washington D.C., and should be in Times Square by the time you read this. The latest proof that all marketing people should be tarred and feathered is also interactive. No, it doesn't scream profanities! This is the PG-rated Ed-DEE, safe for kids and blue-haired old ladies! It's interactive because, as the newscaster on this site explains in the web video, you can actually climb into the replica of Eddie Murphy's head. Why on Earth would you want to do that, you ask? So you can find out what the hell Eddie was thinking when he made Norbit.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army accomplished a couple of major box-office feats this weekend: It unseated Hancock in a superhero vs. superhero competition for the No. 1 spot (though not by much), and it managed to get halfway to the first Hellboy movie's domestic box office take in its opening weekend.