Now that news has broken that Sean Penn is taking time off to focus on his family for a while, that leaves the Farrelly Brothers' highly anticipated (by me, anyway) Three Stooges movie down a Stooge. They still have a Moe in Benicio del Toro, and a Curly in Jim Carrey, but the whiny, red-headed, curly-haired Larry is back to square one. While some sites have been suggesting everyone from Robert Downey Jr. to Matt Damon to fill the role, we can think of only one man who deserves it as much as Penn: Mel Gibson.

Tags: Mel Gibson, Sean Penn, Three Stooges

In Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps Michael Douglas returns to the role of disgraced financial guru Gordon Gekko, but he's not the main character. No, our new Charlie Sheen in this scenario is Shia LaBeouf, who plays Gekko's protegé and future son-in-law. It's a role he's become pretty good at -- after all, he was basically Indiana Jones' intern in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and he scampered around after Keanu Reeves in Constantine and Will Smith in I, Robot like a little puppy dog. He could have a lucrative career just playing the hero-in-training, which is why we came up with a list of older leading men Shia should shadow in future films.

Tags: Bruce Campbell, Bruce WIllis, Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry, Evil Dead, Lethal Weapon, Mel Gibson, Shia LaBeouf, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Let us pray. Dear Lord, please forgive me for laughing about this Passion of the Christ screenplay lawsuit. I know it is in sinfully bad taste for me to conjure up images of Mel Gibson as defendant and New Testament writer John as plantiff on Judge David Young, but I cannot help myself. The flesh is weak, but my will power over parody is far weaker.

Tags: Apocalypto, Judge David Young, Mel Gibson, The Passion of the Christ