While debuting his latest film, Red State, at the Sundance Film Festival, director Kevin Smith announced that he would stop directing after his next film, the hockey comedy Hit Somebody. While it seems appropriate, considering that Smith seems to wear nothing but hockey jerseys, it nonetheless surprised some who were looking forward to Clerks 3. We can't say we're upset after the double disappointment that was Cop Out and Zack & Miri Make a Porno, but there are many more directors we'd like to see retire before Smith. And while they should feel free to follow Smith's lead and shift into producing and distribution, they're also welcome to just chill out and get a hobby.
I really can't blame Jon Favreau for wanting to pass on the third Iron Man movie. He's already made two really good films, and any sort of arc he wanted to have in the third one was going to have to take a back seat to what happens with Iron Man in the Avengers and what Marvel wants him to do in Avengers 2. So best to leave it in the hands of someone who's sold on the whole "big picture" plan, but hopefully can still deliver the goods. Sadly, go-to sequel master Irvin Kershner is no longer with us, but we came up with a list of name directors with sequel experience who would, at the very least, create a threequel that would get people talking.
The Internet collectively gasped yesterday when silver screen sexpot Megan Fox was not invited back to the Transformers movie franchise. True, Fox had bad-mouthed the plot (as it was) and safety standards of the last two movies, as well as director Michael Bay, but Bay seemed to be okay with her controversial interview style, and to actually be looking forward to making her sweat it out in a leather catsuit one more time. But then, suddenly, she was out, and the search for her replacement was underway. Of course, now Fox is saying that she left the production of her own free will, that she in fact chose not to come back, and while that would be a dubious career move for her, we're going to assume she's telling the truth, especially since she immediately followed it up with several more clarifications that ring true. Here's some additional knowledge Fox dropped on us.
While the late, great Michael Jackson is most famous for his music, the man loved to make movies about himself and his songs, and as a megastar he had his pick of some of the most respected directors of our time. Granted, not all of the films were very good, and most were simply long-form music videos, but all were jam-packed full of enough ideas to make a feature-length movie out of. In honor of the man, what say we get today's hottest directors to remake his films? (We'll leave the challenge of recasting the Jackson role to more talented casting directors than ourselves.)
Remember those poor Japanese kids who went into convulsions while watching the constant flashing on Pokémon? Their parents had better keep them away from the current crop of action movies. These films are being edited to within an inch of their lives as of late, making Tony Scott's hackwork look like slow motion by comparison. It's gotten so bad that it's nearly impossible to see who's doing what to whom and where they're doing it. Numerous people have complained about the Bourne series, but I think they're edited far better than most recent actioners. The Guardian feels my pain, complaining about Quantum of Solace's herky-jerky editing. That's the least of that lousy film's problems, however.
You'd think that a giant robot from outer space would do better than a regular car at capturing and killing Shia LaBeouf, but the regular car came closer, causing LaBeouf to undergo extensive hand surgery after a July 27 car wreck in which he rolled his Ford F-150 pickup truck. Now, it looks like Transformers: Rise of the Fallen director Michael Bay is going to give the Decepticons the credit after all. La Beouf's mashed fingers will be written -- sorry, "written" -- into the movie so filming can continue.
Today, director Michael Bay released on his blog a teaser poster for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, featuring the titular "fallen" Transformer who will be the sequel's main bad guy. And since I saw it, I've spent the last seven hours vacillating back and forth between excitement and skepticism. So why am I so torn about the new movie coming out this summer? Because for everything that I love about Transformers, there's something that I hate about Bay's vision of them, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be as disappointed by this one as I was by the first. Bear with me while I pull a High Fidelity and make a list of pros and cons for why I have to see (or really shouldn't see) this movie.
Michael Bay's Transformers sequel, titled Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, just got devastatingly awesomer. Yes, we realize this is the sequel to the movie where a robot peed on John Turturro, but bear with us. Apparently, when we reported on the robots who would appear in the film, the one vaguely identified as "Constructicon Earth Mover" was exactly that -- a big, green dump truck. (And we mean big -- like, end of Jackie Chan's Mr. Nice Guy big.) And while they could have easily called any construction-vehicle-based Decepticon a Constructicon, it seems as if they are actually going to do what they promised, and introduce multiple Constructicons, who will merge together to form... Devastator! [Men and geeky women everywhere cheer. All other women slowly lose interest.]
My love for Rainn Wilson, and by extension his Office character Dwight Schrute, knows no bounds. Nor does my love for -- I won't lie -- The Transformers' Bumblebee (and, okay, pretty much everything about The Transformers). So it's been an exciting day in Kaseyland, as it was announced today that Wilson will have a role in DreamWorks' upcoming TTransformers 2. With the full cast of stars -- Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro (and Bumblebee! And Optimus Prime!) -- returning, the addition of Rainn Wilson certainly does a happy Kasey make.
So picture Jason Voorhees, Leatherface, Chucky, and Pinhead sitting at table in a dimly lit hotel ballroom. Nearby, a bored DJ periodically remembers to change to a new song, and other people sit around their own tables picking at cold chicken and linguini, reminiscing over their glory days. It's like your worst high school reunion, except instead of the quarterback who used to torture you, these are the horror icons of the '70s and '80s whose movies have been remade, rebooted, or reimagined. Suddenly, the doors swing wide and in strides a guy in a green and red sweater and skin even worse than yours when you worked the whole summer standing over the deep fryer at the local burger hut. It's Freddy Krueger, natch, and he announces he's joining the group: The Nightmare on Elm Street remake has just gotten the green light. Then he throws in some kind of terrible pun for old time's sake and the others commiserate with him.