Having never spent more than $50 on a pair of shoes in my life, I was faced with a crisis of unprecedented proportions when Adidas unveiled a pair of sneakers inspired by Hellboy 2: The Golden Army a couple of months back. Hmm. Pay a few hundred bucks for sneakers I wouldn't want to let touch the floor, or save for my unborn child's education? (Did I mention I really like Hellboy?) I ultimately decided against giving Adidas my money, but now Puma wants my future offspring to grow up dumb, as well.