Old people are hilarious, for a variety of reasons. They get bored easily. They like things that are out of style. They can't do things for themselves anymore. They place less value on human life. And they will kill you without a moment's consideration. At least, these are the things that I've learned about them from the movies, which are always pulling them out of retirement for one last job, be it a bank heist or an art heist or one last case or to avenge some cut-up prostitute in the Wild West. And while RED is no Unforgiven -- the characters in the movies similarly seek no forgiveness, nor do they seem to possess any -- it is endlessly entertaining, and features some of the most hyper-violent senior citizens you will find outside of Japanese animation.
Things Thornton Mellon taught me: It you want to look thin, hang out with fat people. Things Bruce Willis taught me: If you want to look young, hang out with old(er) people.
When I saw the news that the graphic novel Red was being adapted into a movie, I was thrilled -- after all, it was one of the most straightforward, action-packed comic books I had ever read, and it seemed tailor-made to be a movie. Sure, the filmmakers seem to be taking some liberties with the storyline, but some of the changes sound interesting. And then I saw that a movie called Red was coming out next week. What the...?