You may not know this, but the main character in Machete first appeared in the Spy Kids movies. It's true! Okay, so technically, it wasn't exactly the same character, but Danny Trejo played another guy named "Machete" who was the uncle to the titular child agents, and also a spy and inventor himself. He wasn't a bloodthirsty killer, but Trejo certainly made the franchise more awesome simply by being in it -- just as he did in the From Dusk Till Dawn movies, as well as the last two Mariachi flicks. Now he's got his own franchise, with two more Machete movies supposedly on the way, but why is Robert Rodriguez the only one taking advantage of his awesomeness? The man would make a valuable addition to any existing franchise -- here are seven we think should grab him while he's hot.
Being an adult, I have not seen the previous two Step Up films. I do, however, watch So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars and Dance Your Ass Off, so I'm basically a professor of dance by this point, and I can tell you that the dancing in Step Up: 3D is as entertaining as it is three-dimensional. So, a lot, on both counts. I'm not sure why the rest of it bothers, but obviously this movie wasn't exactly trying to revolutionize the genre.
Watch out, Witchblade -- if you don't pick up the pace, you might not be the first sexy Top Cow comic book character to make it to the big screen, and I might stop obsessively writing stories about you. Even though you've already lined up a writer, director and teaser poster, the Magdalena is coming up close behind you. And while that may sound sexy, it could conceivably give you some competition in the scantily-clad, female evil-fighter category. (God forbid Uwe Boll decides to make another Bloodrayne film, or Barb Wire inexplicably makes a comeback.)