An interesting piece of news coming out of Cannes is that future cop Judge Dredd will be returning to theaters. Those who remember Sylvester Stallone's 1995 flop judge it to be either an innocent action-movie pleasure or a guilty bastardization of a long-running British comic book, but either way it was not a successful film at the box office. With the director of Vantage Point, the writer of 28 Days Later and concept art by the co-creator of The Losers, not to mention a smaller production budget, it looks like this version has the potential to become a franchise, but the film needs to learn from history. We've come up with three laws the production needs to follow in order to avoid the stiff sentence the last movie got.
By now, it seems everyone in the world must know the plot of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: in order to date the girl of his dreams, Scott must engage in physical combat with her seven evil exes. What follows is a tournament-style series of battles, as the exes become more powerful, and Scott has to use more advanced fighting techniques -- swords, bass guitars, amplifiers, etc. -- to defeat them. And while the video game references and supernatural aspects transform the film into something else entirely, at its heart it's still a fight movie, which automatically makes us think about all the great fight movies we've seen over the years. Here are some of the awesomest ones that give Scott Pilgrim a run for its money.
It's almost impossible not be disappointed by the experience of actually watching The Expendables. It just promises too much! It's the Snakes on a Plane of South American dictators' castles being blown to hell by everybody's childhood favorites and six tons of C-4, you know? But I still enjoyed it, even if didn't melt my face off in exactly the ways I wanted it to.
Is there something like the SPCA, only for action stars that maybe aren't quite as youthful as they once were? I can't help but think someone, somewhere needed to step in where The Spy Next Door is concerned and get Jackie Chan out of there. As some former knock-'em-out stars start heading toward their fifties and beyond, they try to transition into more mainstream roles. This isn't always easy, and some missteps will be made. In Chan's case, the missteps are becoming full-fledged leaps, as news come down the wire that Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez have just been cast to co-star with him in the comedy about mistaken identities. The two latest additions play CIA agents. The lineup, the premise... the whole thing has a "direct-to-DVD" sort of feel to it.
Now that Clint Eastwood has broken my heart by dismissing his return as Dirty Harry, I must turn my fetish for senior citizens with guns toward this week's DVD releases. The writer of 1976's Best Picture winner shows off his penchant for steroids and graphic violence in the Rambo DVD box set. The set includes First Blood, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rambo III and just plain old Rambo. Harrison Ford may have taken 19 years to put his fedora back on, but Sly has him beat: It took Rambo 20 years to tie on his headband and rediscover his taste for a little of the old ultraviolence. I bet the box set has one of those old McDonalds sign counters: "Over One Billion Killed!"
It's hard to believe that a few years ago, Sylvester Stallone was pretty much off the radar, playing a villain in a Spy Kids movie with his glory days largely behind him. Now, after making another Rocky movie and another Rambo movie, all of a sudden everyone wants to work with him. (Let this be a lesson to all those actors out there who don't want to be in franchises.) As previously reported, Sly has written a new action movie for himself to direct and star in, and the cast he's assembled so far -- combined with the actors he's still going after -- is mind-bogglingly awesome.
Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are embarking on an unusual adventure--one that leads them to Bollywood and to their first movie together. The veteran action stars don't even have to leave home to do it, because India is coming to them, according to The Guardian. The two have signed on to appear in Kambakkht Ishq, which translates to "Incredible Love." No, it's not a rom-com celebrating the California Supreme Court's recent ruling on same-sex marriage. The big-budget (£11m) production is the story of an Indian stuntman who moves to L.A. and "has to juggle the demands of avoiding on-rushing freight trains with finding love in the Californian metropolis." The on-rushing trains sound exponentially less daunting.
Call it "How the Grinch Stole Watchmen." After initially deciding that it would be impossible for him to make a ruling, Judge Gary Allen Feess (not a typo) has changed his mind and decided -- on Christmas Eve -- that Fox does have the right to distribute Warner Bros'. Watchmen movie. What the...? I'm willing to bet someone on the Warner Bros. legal team made fun of his name. Well, now Warner Bros. is going to have to pay out the nose to get it released, or actually give Fox the distribution rights, assuming Fox even wants either of those things.
For a production company who has not made a single movie that I have seen, Nu Image/Millennium Films has managed to put together a movie that I would actually break out of prison to see. And, yes, it's Lindsey Lohan's Labor Pains. How did you guess?! Okay, it's not. What did actually hook me is the fact that the production house has managed to put together the Holy Trinity of Ass-Kicking, bringing together Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li and Jason Statham in one shiny package. The three actors will star in The Expendables, as a team of mercenaries who are sent to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator in order to liberate the population. Their team is hired to do jobs that no one else can or will. Duh-duh-DUH! The best part? The script was written by Stallone, who will also direct. I don't care how good or bad it is, I'm in.