Ok so I admit that I never saw Night at the Museum, which may well render me unqualified to write about the news that Christopher Guest will appear in the sequel -- yes there's gonna be a sequel -- playing Ivan the Terrible. I am, however, qualified to speculate on whether or not Guest -- whose work in such gems as This Is Spinal Tap and Waiting for Guffman has placed him among the retinue of modern day comic geniuses -- is, like totally selling out or if he's pulling a Colbert in The Love Guru, i.e. elevating cinematic dreck to a higher plane by virtue of his involvement. It's a toughie. Could be he's doing both.
Hindus are going after Mike Myers over his portrayal of the Guru Pitka in the upcoming movie The Love Guru, but comedy lovers should jump the line to kick Myers' ass. Judging by the trailer, this is an incredibly unfunny movie. The entire coming attraction plays the same riffs on earlier Myers material, some of which wasn't funny when he was dressed like a gay, British orthodontic nightmare. For example, the trailer replaces Fred Savage's mole gag from Austin Powers II with the exact same gag involving height instead of melanoma. There are the typical musical numbers, food jokes, and boner jokes, all using Bollywood to hide their familiarity. Jessica Alba shows up to talk about lesbianism, which would be hot if a) she were convincing, and b) Myers wouldn't have interrupted the audience's collective boner with a boner joke. Numerous times, Myers stares into the camera and grins, as if his obvious delight with himself should deafen us to the sounds of his jokes falling flat in THX.
From what I could deduce over the groans in the theater, Myers plays some kind of self-help mystic slash guru who has been paid $2 million to save the marriage of a Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player played by Romany Malco. Malco's wife has run off with Justin Timberlake, a man whose ghetto pass must be made of titanium. Alba plays the owner of the Leafs and Verne Troyer is their coach. So, we've got a Black guy posing as a hockey player, a White man posing as some kind of Indian mystic, a vertically challenged man as a hockey coach and Jessica Alba as the owner of anything besides a million teenage boys' fantasies. I'm all for color- and gender-blind casting, but this is like matching the giraffe Garanimals top with the hippo Garanimals bottoms. I'll eat my words if the movie's funny, but I don't expect to be that hungry.
Get ready for more Swedish-made penis enlargers (if that's your bag) to come to a theater near you. Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood reported today that Mike Myers is currently in the middle of writing Austin Powers 4. With The Love Guru having tanked at the box office, Myers looks to be getting back into his most successful franchise, and is teaming up with old collaborator Mike McCullers, who worked with him on Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me and Austin Powers 3: Goldmember. It's rumored that the film will revolve around Dr. Evil and his son, Seth Green's Scott Evil, in an homage to Myers' own father.
Just in case you're not reading our DVDs Unwrapped blog, we thought we'd clue you in on the latest DVDs we've gotten the chance to review. They're not all the greatest movies, but some of the extras actually make the DVD worth renting. (Note: If you're looking for Blu-ray reviews, go to a Website with deeper pockets. What are we, made out of money?)
MTV asks, "Why did Love Guru bomb?" to which I respond, "Are you kidding me?!" Despite my shock (and a little bit of rage) that they'd even ask this question, let alone try to blame Justin Timberlake, I'm going to answer the question. It bombed because of:
- The first trailer, which includes short jokes, cowboy jokes, hockey jokes, offensive religious jokes, alligator "snappy" jokes (no, seriously), and even a penis joke. Lovely.