Since you all are soooo looking forward to a third Transformers movie (What will blow up this time? Will Shia LaBeouf meet robot God again? Tell us!), we thought we'd help share a particularly sexy bit of casting news: Grey's Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey will appear in TF3 as Megan Fox's boss. (Presumably, he's not also a transforming robot, but we've learned never to assume.) Now, the Transformers and Grey's Anatomy may not seem like a logical connection, but there's actually more than meets the eye here than just a cheap grab for more female audience members. No, Dempsey is perfect for the franchise, and here are five reasons why.
We love Eric Bana. The Australian actor has played three major roles this summer, in three different genres -- the villainous Romulan Nero in Star Trek, Leslie Mann's straying husband in Funny People and the titular time traveler in The Time Traveler's Wife -- which leads us to believe that there's nothing the man can't do. Who else could have played Hector, Henry Tudor and Bruce Banner?! While his schedule certainly wouldn't have allowed it, we wish Bana had appeared in more of this summer's movies, since so many of them were miscast or just plain disappointing. Perhaps if he were really a time traveler, he would be able to go back and join the casts of the following films, thereby making them a whole lot better than they came out.
While the late, great Michael Jackson is most famous for his music, the man loved to make movies about himself and his songs, and as a megastar he had his pick of some of the most respected directors of our time. Granted, not all of the films were very good, and most were simply long-form music videos, but all were jam-packed full of enough ideas to make a feature-length movie out of. In honor of the man, what say we get today's hottest directors to remake his films? (We'll leave the challenge of recasting the Jackson role to more talented casting directors than ourselves.)
TV lovers, there's a lot of TV coming out on DVD today, plus Tyler Perry's Friday the 13th, The Seventh Seal: Extended Killer Cut and the Criterion Collection edition of Madea Goes to Jail. Just kidding, although I would watch any and all of those movies. But first: the cartoon that inspired Michael Bay to have a robot pee on John Turturro.
Last night, millions of fans gathered around the TV to watch the Super Bowl, but not all of them were watching for the sport of it. Some were watching purely for the commercials, because so many new ones get rolled out during the broadcast. (And at $3 million a pop, they'd better be good.) The movie studios were not excluded from that, airing 11 different movie trailers during the game, including some brand-new ones (Angels and Demons, Fast & Furious) and a few slightly rehashed oldies (Star Trek, Up). While they only had 30 seconds to make their cases, there were five new trailers that did a bang-up job. Here are our faves from last night.
Remember those poor Japanese kids who went into convulsions while watching the constant flashing on Pokémon? Their parents had better keep them away from the current crop of action movies. These films are being edited to within an inch of their lives as of late, making Tony Scott's hackwork look like slow motion by comparison. It's gotten so bad that it's nearly impossible to see who's doing what to whom and where they're doing it. Numerous people have complained about the Bourne series, but I think they're edited far better than most recent actioners. The Guardian feels my pain, complaining about Quantum of Solace's herky-jerky editing. That's the least of that lousy film's problems, however.
If you don't read a lot of comic books, and you're looking for a good one to check out, try Y: The Last Man from Vertigo. It's about Yorick, a young man who, for unknown reasons, is the only man on Earth who doesn't die a horrible death on the day that the "man" part of mankind is wiped out. Women take over the world, and the Y-chromosome-sporting Yorick has to stay out of their clutches, since half of them want to kill him and half want to use him in horribly awesome ways. Luckily, Shia "The Beef" LaBeouf knows exactly what that feels like.
Today, director Michael Bay released on his blog a teaser poster for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, featuring the titular "fallen" Transformer who will be the sequel's main bad guy. And since I saw it, I've spent the last seven hours vacillating back and forth between excitement and skepticism. So why am I so torn about the new movie coming out this summer? Because for everything that I love about Transformers, there's something that I hate about Bay's vision of them, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be as disappointed by this one as I was by the first. Bear with me while I pull a High Fidelity and make a list of pros and cons for why I have to see (or really shouldn't see) this movie.
Michael Bay's Transformers sequel, titled Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, just got devastatingly awesomer. Yes, we realize this is the sequel to the movie where a robot peed on John Turturro, but bear with us. Apparently, when we reported on the robots who would appear in the film, the one vaguely identified as "Constructicon Earth Mover" was exactly that -- a big, green dump truck. (And we mean big -- like, end of Jackie Chan's Mr. Nice Guy big.) And while they could have easily called any construction-vehicle-based Decepticon a Constructicon, it seems as if they are actually going to do what they promised, and introduce multiple Constructicons, who will merge together to form... Devastator! [Men and geeky women everywhere cheer. All other women slowly lose interest.]
Are you sitting at work, watching the minutes tick by until you're finally free for the weekend, wondering how you'll occupy yourself for the next two days of work-free bliss? Are you thinking about risking the wrath of your significant other to go see The Dark Knight for the fifteenth time? There's not a lot new coming out this week in theaters. No new comic book hero movies, no new sci-fi epics, and no new horror villains to make you scream... unless you count Nicolas Cage's scary-ass hairdo in Bangkok Dangerous. Screw it. You might as well be a slacker and waste away the weekend on the Internet.
Here are a few things to help your eyes glaze over as you stare at the computer screen: