While debuting his latest film, Red State, at the Sundance Film Festival, director Kevin Smith announced that he would stop directing after his next film, the hockey comedy Hit Somebody. While it seems appropriate, considering that Smith seems to wear nothing but hockey jerseys, it nonetheless surprised some who were looking forward to Clerks 3. We can't say we're upset after the double disappointment that was Cop Out and Zack & Miri Make a Porno, but there are many more directors we'd like to see retire before Smith. And while they should feel free to follow Smith's lead and shift into producing and distribution, they're also welcome to just chill out and get a hobby.
Uwe Boll is at it again, and this time he's blaming political correctness. The director, who's already on our collective shit list for being one of those people who won't take responsibility for their failures and constantly blames everyone else, has taken to blaming a culture that indulges in too much PC for the fact that almost no theater wants to show his new film Postal. The black comedy, starring Dave Foley and Verne Troyer, which makes references to September 11, President Bush and Osama bin Laden, will open this weekend on just 13 to 15 screens across the country. Though Boll had originally had the target of 1,500 screens on Friday, theater chains didn't cooperate.
Edward Furlong is going to jail, but this time it's not for aiding and abetting lobsters. Instead, the actor will be starring in a brutal prison flick called Stoic, according to The Hollywood Reporter. What's so "improbable" about that? Our old pal Uwe Boll is behind the project, and he doesn't seem to be blaming anyone for anything in the process. But instead of finding a good script, he's leaving it up to the actors to improvise their dialogue. The MTV Movies Blog is reporting that the same will also be true for Janjaweed, Boll's movie about the Darfur massacre. "Everybody should be based on his own research of creating that character," says Boll. Plus, I imagine he doesn't have to waste any of his slim budget on a script this way.
If you've been online for more than two days in your entire life, you've probably come across (or been part of) chat room discussions that go a little something like this:
Studlychip1982: I didn't really like the movie. Too long and drawn out.
moviesRluv: yeah well what do u no? the movie rocked and u sux!!!
A few posts later, there's an out-of-nowhere comparison to Nazis and/or reference to gun control, general expressions of paranoia, lashing out at uninvolved parties, and suddenly you've got a name-calling internet shouting party that has little to do with the starting discussion. Uwe Boll seems to have taken this phenomenon to heart: When his own movies are criticized, he unleashes a tirade against other directors. Does he address the comments about his movies? Not really. Does he shrug off criticism as one of the slings and arrows a professional endures? Does he quietly go about his work and improve his craft? No, and no. When internet movie fans start up a petition to put an end to Boll's movie career, he points out how much Michael Bay sucks.
A lot of people might agree with him about Bay, but what's that got to do with Boll's widely panned film adaptations of video games like Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark? Nothing, really. Boll fancies himself a movie maker, but behaves more like an internet troll. If he wants to be a professional, he should act like one, and quietly badmouth other directors in private or start a secret collection of voodoo dolls or something. Don't indulge in that would make all but the most volatile and grammatically challenged of hotheads cringe in embarrassment.
Uwe Boll says he'd make a better movie than Michael Bay, given the same budget. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. He's unlikely to ever find out if he keeps up his current habits. Would yougive a cool 150 mil to the angry guy who shows up in the movie chat room?
Bronte: Fresh from London via the Hollywood Reporter comes news of Natalie Portman's departure from Wuthering Heights. As mentioned last month in the Moviefile, Portman had been tapped for the role of Cathy Earnshaw in John Maybury's adaptation of Emily Bronte's brooding novel of love, revenge, and having the hots for your stepbrother. No reason was given for her splitting from the film, but according to the news, Portman's sudden exit left "financiers, sellers and producers" in a bit of a pickle this close to the Festival de Cannes, where the movie was supposed to be sold. Coincidentally, Portman is on the Feature Film Jury at the Festival, so they're bound to run into each other now and then. Awkward! But Maybury is saying that the English role should go to an Englishwoman, so maybe they did mean to hire Keira Knightley in the first place, after all.