The long-gestating sequel to Oliver Stone's 1986 classic Wall Street has arrived, and it's definitely its father's daughter, complete with motorcycles, Charlie Sheen (in cameo) and the Talking Heads on the soundtrack. But the picture it paints of corporate greed has shifted from the anything-goes attitude of the 1980s to the finger-pointing blame game of the 2008 financial crisis, and while it tries to show us how stock prices are just as sensitive to rumor-mongering now as they were then, it doesn't really explain to us what caused the collapse. (I think Josh Brolin did it? Maybe?) Mostly, the old money guys sit around long tables and yell at each other for creating bad debt and bad credit and nobody seems to know where "the bottom" is. There's a bit of a revenge story going on, but it's ultimately not very important, and for the most part the movie just isn't as good as The Other Guys, which managed to be funny, informative and action-packed.
If The Tourist had been half as bad-ass as the other Jolie actioner Salt, it would have been a much, much better movie.
In Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps Michael Douglas returns to the role of disgraced financial guru Gordon Gekko, but he's not the main character. No, our new Charlie Sheen in this scenario is Shia LaBeouf, who plays Gekko's protegé and future son-in-law. It's a role he's become pretty good at -- after all, he was basically Indiana Jones' intern in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and he scampered around after Keanu Reeves in Constantine and Will Smith in I, Robot like a little puppy dog. He could have a lucrative career just playing the hero-in-training, which is why we came up with a list of older leading men Shia should shadow in future films.