I generally try not to be too persnickety when creative types take liberties with long-established mythologies. Vampires that sparkle in sunlight instead of burn to a crisp? Kinda stupid, but okay. Peter Parker gains his web-shooting abilities organically rather than through invention? Not ideal, but I'll run with it. So I went into the new zombie rom-com Warm Bodies with an open mind, not thrilled about the improbable idea of watching a member of walking dead fall in love with a living, breathing human, but willing to be persuaded that such a thing might be possible. Unfortunately, not only did Warm Bodies -- which writer/director Jonathan Levine adapted from a book by Isaac Marion that, full disclosure, I haven't read -- fail to convince me of its central conceit, but the movie's general depiction of zombie life is shoddy, inconsistent and often downright dumb. As silly as I felt muttering to myself "But a zombie couldn't/wouldn't do that!" at every turn, that's how much the movie got on my nerves and made it almost impossible to enjoy its few modest charms. Here are the most irritating changes Warm Bodies makes to zombie lore.
Wake up, Bruce. It's time to let Die Hard die.