If the woman who brought the world "My Humps" caught your eye, congratulations. You're not functionally retarded. And yet, that list is in fact an up-to-the-minute inventory of the cast of the impending Rob Marshall musical/celeb circle jerk Nine. People, what is this world coming to? When cinematic icons like Sophia Loren and Dame (yes, Dame) Judi Dench -- who between them have enough gold statuettes to melt down and turn into a to-scale facsimile of the Egyptian pyramids -- are condemned to share screen time with a woman who once pissed her pants on stage during a particularly rowdy rendition of "Let's Get Retarded," well, I just don't know what.