Disney has acquired the rights to Agatha Christie's meek-old-lady-solving-crimes property Miss Marple and plans to turn it into a feature film reboot starring... Jennifer Garner, who is only 38 and primarily known for kicking people while wearing lingerie on Alias. So they're going a different way with it! A younger, and hence, more attractive way with it, which sounds like a financially sound trend that could really take off. Might we suggest even worse old people recasting/reboot ideas? Yes. Yes we might.
This movie had a lot of potential to go wrong. The original cartoon, starring Mickey Mouse, is a short-form classic, and turning it into a modern-day, live-action feature film, especially one starring the occasionally painful to watch Nicolas Cage, seemed like it was fraught with peril -- especially if you aren't a big fan of the films of Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure, Cool Runnings, 3 Ninjas). Despite the trailers' general awesomeness, I had recurring visions of a train wreck of Super Mario Bros. proportions. Luckily, the movie turned out to be a fun, funny adventure that more than lives up to the original's legacy -- in fact, the scene where they pay homage to the original is my least favorite. Sorry, Mickey.
Yes, the new Twilight film comes out on DVD today, but there's actually something bigger than that coming out. A pivotal moment in the history of mankind that only comes along once in a blue moon, and has the potential to affect future generations for decades to come. That's right, it's the newest Disney Princess.
It's been six years since Winnie the Pooh and his fellow fluff-stuffed residents of the Hundred Acre Wood's last feature film outing, Pooh's Heffalump Movie. That may seem like a fair amount of time, but there are other classic Disney characters that have been exiled from movie theaters for much longer. Consider this the start of a campaign to get them back on the big screen where they belong.
How did Quasimodo get a Disney movie before Rapunzel? Okay, they were probably trying to go after the hunchbacked boys' market with that one, but everyone knows that the four most iconic princesses in fairy tales are Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White and Rapunzel (as seen in Shrek the Third), and yet it took 50 animated feature films for Disney to get around to her. Perhaps they were waiting for computer animation technology to reach a point where they wouldn't have to hand-draw every single strand of hair on her head? Whatever the reason, it was worth the wait, because the end result is a flawless animated spectacle, with great vocal performances and one of the funniest and most entertaining princesses in Disney's cotillion.
Man, things are getting tough all over. We already know money's tight for individuals, families, and businesses, but fictional characters are starting to feel the pinch, as well. Recent reports suggest that Hollywood is recession-proof -- it is cheaper, after all, to watch a movie than to fly to Cancun for some fun in the sun -- but that protection doesn't seem to apply to all of Tinseltown's residents. Disney, for example, is getting out of the Narnia business by dumping the third installment of the C.S. Lewis trilogy that started with 2005's The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, effectively putting The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in limbo for the time being.
The Jonas Brothers are going to stink, and that's not a prediction about their musical future. No, this is entirely about the plot of their first feature film, which is being adapted from a series of children's books titled Walter the Farting Dog, reports Variety. The books look kind of cute, actually. It's hard to resist a dog who looks so embarrassed by his own odiferous wind. The movie, like the book series, is about a "fat dog with severe flatulence" who helps to rescue his new family using his intestinal fortitude. Meanwhile, the Jonas Brothers will be doing their music thing, which, as far as I can tell, is where the movie will differ from the books.
With the latest news (here, gleaned from an interview in Disney's in-house magazine) that Disney could possibly remake The Black Hole and/or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, I have just one question: How many more of these remakes are possible? I mean, how many original cheesy Disney movies still exist that haven't yet been remade? ...No, really, I need to know how prepared I need to be, because it's starting to feel like when the world ends, the only things that will survive the apocalypse will be cockroaches and old Disney movies.
Back when Disney announced that its first foray back into hand-drawn animation would be The Frog Princess, a story about Maddy, a young black girl working for a spoiled white Southern debutant who was helped by a Voodoo priestess fairy godmother to win the heart of a white prince, many of us had the same reaction: "Wha-huh?" Followed fairly immediately with: "I don't know if that's the best idea." It looks like Disney has finally come to the same conclusion. Britain's The Independent is reporting that Disney has trashed everything from the character's name (who some say was too close to sounding like "Mammy") to the villain's race to the title.
It seems that Disney is tired of not having a superhero to call their own. What's Darkwing Duck, chopped goose liver?
Looking to get in on the comic-book-adapting game, the Mouse has hired a comic writer, a businessman and a Zappa to form Kingdom Comics, at once a clever play on Disney's own Magic Kingdom and the Biblical end of the world. (Nice!) It seems the new division will scout out graphic novels to publish that can be adapted into feature films, as well as creating graphic novels from Disney properties, which they can then turn back into feature films, thereby starting the cycle anew.