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Only 353 days until Breaking Dawn! Squeeeee!
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Reviews of Movies We've Actually Seen, Separate but Sequel
The 16 Most Ridiculous Things About EclipseI tore through these books a few years back like a crack addict desperate for a fix, but these movies... they might be the death of me. And yet, I still force myself to go see them to see just how terrible they are. On the one hand, they are hysterical (especially the newest one), but on the other hand, I'm not entirely sure that they're in on the joke. Like, should I be laughing when newborn vampires are eviscerating a poor soul because their leader Riley just has the dumbest look on his face? Probably not, but it totally makes me giggle to no end. Writing a review of this is pointless, since, judging by the hordes of teens and moms at the theater near my house at 10 PM, this movie is going to make a gazillion dollars no matter how awful it may be or how much of a set-up it is for the last two films (which have the most preposterous plot... I can't even...), and people will turn out in droves, plan parties, start rival gang wars, buy merchandise, set up shrines, etc... But before you're forced to take your favorite pre-teen (or drooling spouse) to the film, find out what insanity this latest Twilight installment has in store. Fair warning, the text below does contain a great deal of spoilers, but if you haven't read the books and you're planning on seeing this anyway, you probably really don't care.
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Director? I Hardly Knew Her!, Scary Monsters & Super Creeps, You Got Comic Book in My Movie
Wolverine and Edward Cullen: More Alike Than You ThinkAlthough it's not officially confirmed yet, word on the street is that Twilight: Eclipse director David Slade will direct Wolverine 2. While Wolverine fans worldwide are probably groaning that the director of a girly vampire film may be put in charge of the rugged anti-hero, they should consider two things: 1. Eclipse was one big vampire-werewolf fight. 2. Logan and Edward Cullen have a lot in common. Check out our long list of similarities between the two.
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I Voted for GORE!, Scary Monsters & Super Creeps
Twilight: The Deadliest Vampire Attacks Of All TimeIn the latest installment of the Twilight saga, Eclipse, the characters learn of a rash of murders being committed in nearby Seattle by a gang of newborn vampires. Of course, in the world of Twilight there's a vampire police force, the Volturi, that would normally quell such a high-profile incident, but that isn't the case in every movie where vampires exist. Most of the time, it seems there is no force on Earth that can stand up to a vampire, especially when there's more than one of them. What follows are some of the deadliest vampire attacks ever recorded on film, in terms of number of humans killed/turned.
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How do you talk about the weekend box office when one movie opened on a Wednesday, the other on a Thursday and everybody had Monday off for the Fourth of July? Luckily, it doesn't really matter, because one of the movies was The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, and it set all kinds of records in its newborn-vampire onslaught on a nation of quivering Bella Swans. Not only did it have the biggest Wednesday opening ever ($69 million, yet another record stolen from Michael Bay), it had the second-highest opening day of all time, right behind its predecessor, New Moon. Of course, it also opened in the most theaters ever (4,468), so that might have helped get butts in seats. You know, in addition to the rippling abs of Taylor Lautner. The four-day weekend total was $83 million, but counting Wednesday and Thursday, not to mention the midnight Tuesday screenings, the grand total comes to $175 million so far, and that's in just six days. Six days! Lautner's shaved chest is barely even stubbly after six days!
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Scary Monsters & Super Creeps, Separate but Sequel, Taste the Reading Rainbow, The Casting Conch
Twilight: We Re-Cast the Whole Darn Thing for EclipseIt's official -- Rachelle Lefevre is out as Victoria in the third Twilight movie, Eclipse, and Bryce Dallas Howard (Terminator Salvation, The Village) is in. Supposedly, it's due to a "scheduling conflict," but could it simply be that the producers wanted a better, more famous actress in the role? They're not alone. We think that a lot of actors in the cast could stand to be upgraded, so we went through and re-cast the entire thing in our Re-Casting Wish List. Click the link, and tell us you don't think that would be a better movie.
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