Earlier today, I said that Angelina Jolie's impending birth of twins was being treated like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. You probably said, "didn't that guy's English teacher warn him about overuse of hyperbole?" Well, guess what? That suspenseful news conference the Associated Press kept pimping all morning has turned out just like a Shyamalan movie: There's a surprise twist, and it sucks. Jolie isn't having her babies anytime soon.