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News broke today that Tyler Perry, the auteur behind Madea and everything else Tyler Perry Presents, would be taking over the role of Alex Cross (Kiss the Girls, Along Came a Spider) from Morgan Freeman in I, Alex Cross, the next film adaptation of James Patterson's series of crime novels. Which is kind of hilarious, but hey, Tyler Perry has a massive following, so we don't blame them. Nevertheless, it got us thinking of other hilarious cast replacements that could be made in established film series, and off we went. For the record: These? These we'd blame them for.
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For Kids!, For Your Amusement (Park), You Know
Harry Potter's Got a Theme Park, But What About These Other Movie Franchises?On June 18, the new Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park at the Universal Orlando Resort opens, and we could not be happier little movie geeks. We can't wait to buy our own magic wands at Ollivander's and get buttered on butterbeer at the Hog's Head! But all this hoopla has gotten us thinking about other film franchises, many much older than Harry Potter, that deserve their own theme parks. Here's our list of eleven action, fantasy, sci-fi and comedy franchises that we would love to immerse ourselves in for at least four or five days out of the year.
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Booooyyyyy!, Camera... Action Jackson!, Lights, Separate but Sequel, The History
Indiana Jones 5: Is There Any Way it Can Be Saved?Well, we kind of knew this was coming. Harrison Ford recently revealed that he, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg had settled on the proper MacGuffin for everyone to chase in the fifth Indiana Jones film. (Apparently, once Lucas convinced them that aliens were the right way to go in Episode IV, everyone got a lot less picky.) Not only that, but co-star Karen Allen seems to think that the movie will be coming out in 2012. So this is happening. Indiana Jones 5 is getting made, assuming Lucas manages to get a script written before one or all of the principal players die. After the fridge-nuking, magic-negating ridiculousness that was the last movie, is there any way the fifth installment can be any good? Maybe. Here are some suggestions on how to make it less of a travesty.
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Director? I Hardly Knew Her!, Foreign Relations, We Call Do-Over
Why Aren't There More Asian Versions of American Films?Starting with 1960's The Magnificent Seven (a remake of The Seven Samurai) and culminating in the recent spate of adaptations of Japanese and Korean horror movies, Hollywood has often looked to Asia for new ideas. But rarely do we see it go the other way -- at least, not in any sort of official capacity. But Sony Pictures Classics will distribute the new film from acclaimed Chinese director Zhang Yimou (Hero, House of Flying Daggers), and it's a remake of the Coen Brothers' first film, Blood Simple.
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Camera... Action Jackson!, I Want My DVD, Lights, Separate but Sequel
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the DVD ExtrasThis week, Lucasfilm announced the features for the DVD and Blu-ray releases of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. To satisfy everybody, there will be a one-disc, no-frills DVD version as well as a two-disc Special Edition, plus a Complete Adventure Collection, with the Special Edition plus the first three Indy movies. (Sadly, they do not come in a badly dented refrigerator.) And if you're wondering if the Special Edition is worth it, you might want to check out the massive list of extras you get with it before you decide. (Or maybe watch the movie again. You don't want to buy it, then suddenly remember the scene where Shia LaBeouf swings with the monkeys.)
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Has this ever happened to you? You DVR a sporting event and do your damnedest not to find out the score before you can get home to watch the game. You avoid phone calls, all human contact and every form of media and communication known to man, from ESPN to Morse code. You rush home, turn on the TV and the first thing you see as the TV comes on is the Sportscenter panel showing the game's final score. This is how I've been feeling as I try to avoid Indiana Jones spoilers on the Internet. It's like I'm Ray Charles navigating a minefield with an optical mouse.
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Box Office Tally, It's a Major Award!, You Got Comic Book in My Movie
People's Choice Awards Don't Offer People Many ChoicesNovember 4 has come and gone, but the voting isn't over yet. Voting for the People's Choice Awards started yesterday and continues through December 7. You don't get many choices, though. Looking at the just-announced list of nominees, you might think only a handful of movies came out in 2008. Iron Man, The Dark Knight, and the new Indiana Jones will vie for top honors in both the favorite movie and favorite action movie categories. It's not surprising that in an award system based on popular opinion the highest grossing films would rise to the top of the list. Statistically speaking, chances are pretty good that even if you only saw three movies this year, those were the three you saw. Other not-unexpected movie nominees include Wall-E, Sex and the City, and Mamma Mia!
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Animation Desensitization, Camera... Action Jackson!, For Kids!, I Voted for GORE!, I Want My DVD, Lights, You Got Comic Book in My Movie, You Know
I Want My DVD: The New ReleasesJust in case you're not reading our DVDs Unwrapped blog, we thought we'd clue you in on the latest DVDs we've gotten the chance to review. Sadly, we were turned down for a review copy of Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, but we'll keep trying.
Journey to the Center of the Earth -- Possibly the greatest 3-D movie made entirely to show off the wonders of 3-D you'll see this year. Of course, it's no The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D, but then, what is?
The Strangers -- When Dave Chappelle (dressed as Lil Jon) talked about giving himself "a stranger," I don't think he meant breaking into his own home and terrorizing himself for the better part of a night. But maybe he did. We don't know his life!
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull -- Love it or loathe it, this is an out-of-this-world DVD set. Above and beyond. To the moon, Alice. In other words, it may have been created by aliens.
The Incredible Hulk -- A pretty incredible collection of extras, including an alternate opening where you can see Captain America stuck in a block of ice. Be prepared to "freeze"-frame. Get it?
Sleeping Beauty: 50th Anniversary Edition -- It's the newest edition of the Disney classic, straight outta the vaults and fully restored with bonus songs and some sweet documentaries. Fun for a girl or a boy! (Boys, be prepared to fast-forward.)
Check out more DVD reviews in DVDs Unwrapped!
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Camera... Action Jackson!, Lights, Sci-Fidelity, Script From the Headlines!, Separate but Sequel
Harrison Ford Says Lucas is Working on the Fifth Indiana JonesGeorge Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford can ignore the (generous mixed reviews and Ford's age (66!), but they apparently cannot ignore Indy's box office power, and therefore a fifth Indiana Jones film might be on the way, according to Ford. He said Lucas is "in think mode" and, "It's crazy, but great." I would like to emphasize the word "crazy" here, but it sounds like Ford's going to focus on the "great."
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Adventures in Fakery, Camera... Action Jackson!, Let's Go To The Video!, Lights, Musicalifornication
Indiana Jones Gets Caught in the RayneGrowing up in the 1980s, it was hard to avoid L.B. Rayne. The soulful crooner was ubiquitous, popping up every summer to write a catchy pop song about the latest movie blockbuster. But his biggest hit was arguably "Indiana Jones," his impeccably rhymed tribute to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, which came out... Okay, I'm just yanking your chain. The video is really the brainchild of Doogtoons founder Doug Bresler, who came up with the idea for a failed R&B singer with his brother Joe (who plays Rayne in the video) more than ten years ago. But the song is the perfect '80s pastiche, with cheesy rhymes and classic riffs in the vein of "Eye of the Tiger," and the visual elements -- Rayne jogging through the woods; a karate-kicking, violin-playing "Short Round" stand-in -- are wondrous to behold. Bresler promises more L.B. Rayne videos in the future, but for now, check out "Indiana Jones" after the jump.
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