It's just a rumor for now, but word on the blogosphere is that Amanda Seyfried may play Cinderella in a live-action adaptation of the Disney film. It makes sense, considering the box office bonanza that was Alice in Wonderland, not to mention Enchanted, which was basically about a Disney Princess who comes to life. And since you know that a live-action Cinderella will make a mint, the rest of the princesses can't be too far behind, which is why we're looking at the young actresses of Hollywood to see who could play the rest of the royal family. Here are our choices.
Not only did Goldie Hawn unleash Kate Hudson on the world, she also unleashed a slew of films about bubbly blondes who get caught up in love, murder and international intrigue. With the recent announcement that Hollywood would be remaking Hawn's 1980 classic Private Benjamin with Anna Faris and 1987's Overboard with Jennifer Lopez, it seems like goodwill towards her films is at an all-time high, so we figured we'd get in on the ground floor of this new Goldie Age and pitch remakes of some of our favorite Hawn vehicles. Here are the movies that we'd like to see re-done and who we'd like to see star in them.
The long-awaited remake of 1943's The Wolf Man bears many similarities to the original, but one major difference is that the film is set in the 1880s, rather than present day. While that gave the movie the opportunity to dress Benicio Del Toro, Emily Blunt and Anthony Hopkins up in period garb (not that the latter two needed any encouragement), it also created difficulties for the screenwriters, costumers and set decorators as far as making everything accurate to the time period. And while they did a pretty good job, a few 20th- and 21st-century artifacts snuck their way into the film. We watched the movie and found a bunch of anachronistic details that should have been edited out in post.
Disney has acquired the rights to Agatha Christie's meek-old-lady-solving-crimes property Miss Marple and plans to turn it into a feature film reboot starring... Jennifer Garner, who is only 38 and primarily known for kicking people while wearing lingerie on Alias. So they're going a different way with it! A younger, and hence, more attractive way with it, which sounds like a financially sound trend that could really take off. Might we suggest even worse old people recasting/reboot ideas? Yes. Yes we might.
The box office numbers are in, and while The Social Network easily took number one for the weekend, the weekend's other new release (not counting the long-delayed Case 39) barely cracked the Top Ten. Let Me In is the remake of the Swedish film Let the Right One In, about a young vampire girl who moves into an apartment complex, next door to a bullied boy. It only pulled in $5.3 million, which puts it in eighth place, and raises the question, "Why bother remaking a movie that's only two years old, especially if you're going to remake it exactly?"
An interesting piece of news coming out of Cannes is that future cop Judge Dredd will be returning to theaters. Those who remember Sylvester Stallone's 1995 flop judge it to be either an innocent action-movie pleasure or a guilty bastardization of a long-running British comic book, but either way it was not a successful film at the box office. With the director of Vantage Point, the writer of 28 Days Later and concept art by the co-creator of The Losers, not to mention a smaller production budget, it looks like this version has the potential to become a franchise, but the film needs to learn from history. We've come up with three laws the production needs to follow in order to avoid the stiff sentence the last movie got.
After 28 years, The Dark Crystal is finally getting a sequel. The Jim Henson-directed original, which frightened children everywhere in 1982 with its creepy, creepy puppets, will be followed up by The Power of the Dark Crystal, to be directed by the Spierig brothers, who also directed the zombie romp Undead and the vampire flick Daybreakers. Horror-movie directors taking on a children's movie classic? That... kinda makes sense, actually. The original movie's fans are all grown up now, so why not push the film's PG creatures farther into the realm of R-rated nightmares? In fact, why not make horror films out of all of these already-horrific kids' films? We'll even assign the directors!
It seems difficult to mess up a character like Ghost Rider. He's a motorcyclist with a flaming skull for a head, who hunts the guilty and makes them relive their crimes with his Penance Stare. He looks awesome, and his goals are pretty straightforward. And yet, somehow, the movie based on the comic book character was pretty universally awful. A lot of it had to do with the story, but the rest had to do with the cast: Eva Mendes was dull as the true love, Wes Bentley wasn't particularly intimidating as the evil demon, and Nicolas Cage's quirky stuntman actually overshadowed his skull-faced alter ego. So that may be why they're making another Ghost Rider movie without Cage. Wait, they can do that? Isn't Cage, like, a huge comic book fan? We can't imagine he's thrilled to have been booted from his own superhero franchise, but hopefully he'll have more success with The Sorceror's Apprentice. (Although they should probably avoid putting his huge face on the posters, which seems to be a common thread among his bombs.) In the meantime, we say remake more unsuccessful Nic Cage movies using a different actor. Everybody wins! Except for Nic Cage.
It's hard to criticize a horror movie that scares the bejeezus out of you. Clearly, it's done its job. But the new A Nightmare on Elm Street manages to do so in a sleek, stylish way with a bevy of attractive actors and actresses and a bunch of sly teases to the audience, as if to say "You thought we were going to do something scary there, right? Well, we didn't. Instead we're doing it... not here. Nope. But how about HERE? Gotcha!" Knowing that something is coming is half the fun -- and all of the plot -- and Nightmare certainly doesn't disappoint.
"You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! God damn you all to hell!" Does that line sound familiar to you? Of course it is -- it's what you shouted to the sky (and at any Fox executives within ear shot) as you walked out of 2001's successful-but-ridiculous Tim Burton remake of Planet of the Apes. Despite being profitable, a sequel to the remake never materialized, possibly because Burton had no interest in returning to the franchise, and star Mark Wahlberg would only come back if he did. But now, for some reason, Fox is rebooting Planet of the Apes again, this time with a prequel. We can't think of too many other franchises that have been re-booted twice, let alone only ten years apart; we also can't believe that Fox didn't learn its lesson the last time. There is no way to improve on the original movie, and when you try, awfulness happens. Let's take a look at the first remake, and show why the original will never be replaced. In other words, get your hands off of it, you damn dirty Fox!