I know this will come as a huge shock to anyone who has been living under a rock for the past several months of Twilight mania, but I'll just spill it: The movie, based on a series of books for teens, did phenomenally well at the box office. Starting with sold-out midnight screenings on Thursday, it went on to make $70.6 million in its opening weekend, joining an elite group of films to become profitable in a matter of days, a boon for small film company Summit Entertainment, which made the movie on a relative dime ($37 million to make the movie, another $30 million in marketing). And it jumped ahead of last week's box office winner Quantum of Solace for the fourth-highest opening weekend this year.

So you've just seen Twilight, and you are now officially addicted to Robert Pattinson. You need him like a flower needs sunlight, or like a teenage girl needs a dangerous-yet-non-threatening vampire boyfriend. You've bought the T-shirt, the calendar, everything you can get your hands on, but now you need a tiny, three-dimensional totem of Edward to worship and adore. You need a doll, or, better yet, an action figure. Like, right now. Well, Edward thinks you should wait, and if you really love him, you will.

It's hard to judge Twilight like any other movie, for a number of reasons: First off, you have to consider the audience. It was sort of made for them, and if it appeals to them, it's a success, right? Then there's the buzz factor: How much would we like this movie if there were no buzz? Finally, there's the fact that it's technically an independent film that's been widened due to said buzz. If watched as an indie, the movie might make people feel very differently than it does in its current context. All of these elements are important when reviewing Twilight, so I'm trying to keep them all in mind when I say what I'm about to say.

"The good ole Moviefile," you think to yourself. "They won't report on something Twilight-related two days in a row. Because I can't get away from Twilight news in the media or on my walk to class or at the bottom of the ocean -- the Moviefile will save me!" Oh contraire, Écouter. We can't bring you any more non-Twilight news, because frankly, there isn't any. I checked. I mean, there isn't much to say beyond Ben Affleck is touring refugee camps in the Congo, (for like, awareness of the plight of the people of the Congo, not for fun or anything) and Winona Ryder was briefly hospitalized in the UK for an unknown condition after she became ill on a flight from LA to London. She was probably freaking out because there was nothing to steal but, literally, peanuts. That's all I've got, people! It's that and sparkle-in-the-sun vampires! I tried. I did. To the Twilight!

If you've been living under a rock for the last few months, then you may not know that Twilight, the first in a planned series of films based on Stephenie Meyer's vampire romance novels, is about to hit theaters. The film had its Hollywood premiere Monday night in Westwood Village (a couple of zip codes west of Hollywood, actually), and I don't know if you've heard this, but the franchises' mainly female fans are just a teensy bit excited. Hundreds of fans camped out in Westwood to catch a glimpse of the premiere and the film's stars. Had I known it was on Monday night, I would joined them with a bottle of shampoo and a hairbrush for star Robert Pattinson. From the pics of the night, I don't think he's been intimate with either in well over two weeks.

If you're a zombie fan, hopefully you took some time away from watching Romero films over the last couple of years to read a book -- specifically, World War Z. The "survivors' account" of the First Zombie War talks to veterans and victims from every continent who recount how humanity made it through a global outbreak of the undead. J. Michael Straczynski (the cartoon and comic book writer who wrote Changeling) penned a screenplay based on the novel by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft), and the result was a reportedly fantastic script. Well, now the project has a fantastic director: Marc Forster, whose Quantum of Solace just opened with the biggest weekend take of any James Bond film ever, so everyone who thinks that he's some kind of a hack who ruined the Bond franchise, you can rest assured that he won't be coming back for another installment, you big babies.

Today's Round-Up is a mixed bag. Sometimes you reach in and pull out a nugget of gold, and sometimes you pull out a cow pie. Sometimes you end up with a little of both. Let's just start with what is potentially the biggest pile to come out of the bag: Brett Ratner (Rush Hour 3, X-Men: The Last Stand) is close to signing a deal to direct the half-anticipated, half-dreaded Conan update. On the plus side, the writers reportedly looked to Robert E. Howard's original pulp stories of the 1930s to create their version of the sword-wielding barbarian. On the minus side for Ratner detractors, they're now "doing a quick polish" to work in some of the would-be director's ideas. What those ideas might be is left to your imagination. Perhaps Ratner will work all the crap out of his system on Beverly Hills Cop 4, which he's likely to complete before starting any other project.

Jack Black is about to be a Yahoo. Well, more of one than normal, anyway. 20th Century Fox is moving forward with production on a version of Gulliver's Travels, and it will be the actor's next project. Fox's take will be a modern version, with Black playing the title character Lemuel Gulliver as a travel writer who, on an assignment to the Bermuda Triangle, suddenly finds himself a giant among men when he washes ashore on the hidden island of Lilliput, home to a population of industrious, yet tiny, people. Which, being a girl over 6 feet tall, is kind of how I feel on the elevator every day.

This one's for the ladies! Essential Pictures is in the process of developing a potential franchise out of author Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. The books, which Variety describes as "fantasy," tell the story of an 18th century Scottish Highlander and his modern-day time-traveling wife. [Not to be confused with the 2008 movie Outlander, about a space cop who lands on a planet of vikings. - Zach] And while the premise of the books is certainly fantasy-based, you generally find these books in the Romance section. And, okay, I know this because I've read them all. Don't judge me. They're an addicting, well-written series that sees historical events with a modern eye, and blends some pretty intricate stories all with an engaging romance unfolding in the background. If the film or films are anywhere near as captivating, y'all better watch out. I once had a dental hygienist obsessed with me simply because she thought I looked like one of the characters.

The Jonas Brothers are going to stink, and that's not a prediction about their musical future. No, this is entirely about the plot of their first feature film, which is being adapted from a series of children's books titled Walter the Farting Dog, reports Variety. The books look kind of cute, actually. It's hard to resist a dog who looks so embarrassed by his own odiferous wind. The movie, like the book series, is about a "fat dog with severe flatulence" who helps to rescue his new family using his intestinal fortitude. Meanwhile, the Jonas Brothers will be doing their music thing, which, as far as I can tell, is where the movie will differ from the books.