Did you know that Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson" in any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's written works? The line pops up in movies, but the exact phrasing never shows up in the original stories. Why am I bringing this up? No reason, except that I just wanted to. In actual news, Variety is reporting that Jude Law is in talks to play Dr. John Watson to Robert Downey Jr.'s Baker Street detective in Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes. This will be a dramatic tale, not to be confused with the Judd Apatow-produced comedy starring Sacha Baron Cohen as Sherlock and Will Ferrell as sidekick Watson. My first thought is, "Man, the movie theaters are going to be chock full of Sherlocks." My second thought is, "I kind of wish Law and Ferrell would switch places."

Whether or not you've read the children's book it's based on, you're probably as curious as I am to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, the upcoming animated film from Sony. I mean, come on -- it's a movie about food falling from the sky! Even if you don't consider the more horrific aspects of what that implies, it's something that's never been seen on film before -- although Adam Sandler's new movie Bedtime Stories apparently features a hail of gumballs. But does it feature as amazing a cast as Cloudy?

The casting rumors are flying faster than the cars in front of 221b Baker Street about just who is going to be cast opposite Robert Downey Jr. in Guy Ritchie's upcoming Sherlock Holmes reinvention project. A couple of weeks ago Guy Ritchie denied rumors that Russell Crowe had been cast to play sidekick Dr. Watson, although it was quickly followed up with not-yet-denied rumors that Crowe would play Holmes' nemesis Moriarty. Now the casting rumor roulette wheel has spun again for the part of Dr. Watson and landed, rather curiously, on Colin Farrell.

So apparently, Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window, which has inspired countless knockoff films, was actually based on a short story from 1942. And while most of those knockoffs flew under the radar, apparently 2007's Disturbia, with Shia LaBeouf in an ankle bracelet standing in for Jimmy Stewart in a wheelchair, has not, and the company that represents the deceased author's estate has filed a lawsuit against Dreamworks, according to Reuters. Apparently, they were waiting for Disturbia to make it to Blu-ray? And for Blu-ray to be declared the next generation of media player? And for all of the Disturbia HD-DVDs to go on closeout?

I don't think anyone would call Guillermo del Toro a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kind of guy. He's definitely a planner. So much of one, in fact, that his professional calendar is booked through 2017. Currently -- and for the next five years -- knee-deep in The Hobbit, del Toro signed a three-year first-look deal with Universal in June of last year that will pick up after the epic New Line/Miramax project is finished.

Tarzan, in whatever version it finds itself, has long been on my shit list. Most put the blame squarely on the shoulders of that 2003 (I don't think it made it into 2004) WB series of the same name (which, perhaps because of the beefcake, I totally watched), but in reality, it happened the minute Disney decided to screw with the single greatest attraction, ever, the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House at their Disneyland resort, by turning it into the ultimate lameness that is the Tarzan Treehouse. The pirates learned the hard way not to fuck with the Swiss Family Robinson, and I hope someday Disney does, too. Where was I going with that? Oh yeah. A new Tarzan is in the works, folks -- this one a re-imagination of the classic, Tarzan, Lord of the Apes.

It looks like Hilary Swank is setting herself up for another box-office disappointment. The Oscar winner has acquired the rights to produce and possibly star in an adaptation of Emily Griffin's 2005 novel "Something Borrowed." The book tells the story of a Manhattan attorney who gets involved with her best friend's fiancé after her 30th birthday. The problem here is that the character Swank will likely play, that of Rachel the Manhattan lawyer, is a good-looking girl. When Swank just puts on a dress for a movie, it generally doesn't do very well. (See: P.S. I Love You, Freedom Writers.)

Perhaps the folks at Entertainment Weekly should read Movies Without Pity more often. As reported here, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince has been moved from November 2008 to July 2009. Usually when this happens (see Valkyrie -- if you can find out when it'll be released), it means the movie is in deep trouble. No such fate befalls Harry, which will be an enormous hit no matter when it's released. EW's "mistake" was putting Harry on their fall movie preview cover, which my mailman balled up and shoved into my mailbox while I was away on business. Looks like the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing over at Time Warner! (To be fair, Empire magazine did the same thing, but they're British -- they'd put Harry Potter on the cover of every issue if they didn't have to worry about selling copies to us Yanks, as well.)

It's a pretty safe bet that when I log on in the morning to check out recent movie news that I'll come across one or two things that make me question my sanity. Or the sanity of the movie industry. Today, I woke up to more than the usual number of head-scratchers. First up:

- According to Variety, Mike Myers has joined the cast of Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards. Myers will play a British "military mastermind" who takes part in the Nazi-killing plans. I know Myers has played a couple of dramatic roles in the past, but I'd be less surprised if the report had Michael Myers popping up to scalp a few Nazis.

Casting has just gotten groovier on Taking Woodstock, Ang Lee's latest film. Variety notes that Imelda Staunton and Liev Schreiber have rounded out a cast that includes Into the Wild's Emile Hirsch, SCTV vet Eugene Levy and The Daily Show's Demetri Martin. Focus will start production this month on the tale of a mysterious stranger who invades the Peanuts world created by Charles Schulz. While Snoopy is sleeping, someone snatches Woodstock from his nest, and it's up to Snoopy and Vera Drake to solve the mystery. Staunton and the rest of the humans spent six hours a day learning how to go "womp-womp-womp-womp-womp" like the adults on Charlie Brown cartoons are known to do. Subtitles will not be presented, as Lee feels this will ruin the artistic feel of the film. And I'm just pulling your leg!