There are a lot of terrible movie titles out there, and everyone has their list, but most of these titles are attached to terrible films! It's when bad titles are attached to good movies that there starts to be a problem. For instance, this week, The Men Who Stare at Goats hits theaters, and we thought it was a lot of fun, but that title is a real snoozer. Who's going to go see this movie with that title? Yes, they stare at goats, but they stare at them to make their hearts stop beating! Why not call the movie Goat Killers? Or Heartstoppers? Or The Men Who Kill Goats With Their Minds? We looked at the last decade and found a bunch of film titles we think misrepresent or detract from the films they're attached to, for various reasons.

After Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 was defeated in its opening weekend by The Final Destination in 3-D, the producers of the Halloween franchise revealed that the just-announced Halloween 3 will actually be Halloween 3-D. While unsurprising, given the resurgence in 3-D's popularity, this particular 3-D-ification is a sly homage to the early 1980s, when it seemed like the third installment of a horror franchise -- Jaws 3-D, Amityville 3-D, Friday the 13th Part III -- was legally required to be watched through cardboard glasses. (The original Halloween 3, ironically, passed on the gimmick.) And that got us thinking -- what if all third installments of movies had to be released in 3-D? Some would be awesome, and some just plain ridiculous. Here's some quick takes.

Today, the news broke that Disney has bought Marvel Entertainment, lock stock and barrel, for $4 billion. That includes Marvel Comics, with over 5,000 characters, and Marvel Studios, with the successful Iron Man and Hulk film franchises, plus the upcoming Thor, Captain America and The Avengers. It seems like it's a win-win scenario -- Disney gets a boys' brand to bookend the Disney Princesses, and Marvel gets some global multimedia clout -- but what does this really mean for our beloved Marvel superheroes? As fans, these are just a few things we're worried and/or excited about.

America, or at least the Americans who cover the film industry, were stunned by the out-of-the-blue announcement that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences would be expanding the number of Best Picture nominees next year, from five to ten. The last time there were ten Best Picture nominees was 1943; apparently, winning the war gave Americans less desire to praise movies? Anyway, some people are crying foul, saying that crummy movies will now get nominated, and that's just dumb. We think this is a great idea, and we've got five reasons why in the last five years' worth of great films that didn't make the cut. Of course, in honor of the we also have a list of five other things that the Oscars still need to fix.

Why do so many movies have vague, mysterious titles? They Came From Upstairs? What the hell is that about? Renters? Old Life magazines? Away We Go? Who's going where, and why? Shorts? What about them? They're really comfortable! No, we want titles that tell us who's in them, or what's going to happen, or where it takes place -- it will take a lot of the guesswork out of our movie selection process. When we went to see Knocked Up, we knew it was going to be about an unplanned pregnancy. Beverly Hills Chihuahua? The adventures of a spoiled Mexican dog. Monsters vs. Aliens? Der. Luckily, a bunch of studios are taking a more direct approach this summer, spelling out their films' central themes right there on the marquee. Unless you're the type of person who likes to know every single solitary detail of a movie before you go in, the following movies need no further explanation.

It seems everyone, from high-ranking Hollywood executives to Joe car enthusiasts to hipster entertainment columnists, knew that Fast & Furious would do well in theaters this past weekend. After all, the only other new film was the indie comedy Adventureland, which isn't exactly Superbad, and the biggest threat from last weekend's holdovers was the kid-targeted Monsters vs. Aliens. But the film actually surpassed expectations, bringing in $72 million in the U.S. alone, giving it the biggest April opening of all time, plus another $30 mill from overseas. All of a sudden, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster are moneymakers, and they're gonna be getting a lot of offers in the wake of this. If this smart-ass entertainment columnist may offer some suggestions, I've got a multi-part plan for success for each of them.

Good news for Angels & Demons! The Tom Hanks sequel/prequel to The DaVinci Code may be officially boycotted by the Catholic church. Why is that good news for the movie? Since the Vatican issued a statement last Friday, newspapers and websites from Cleveland to India have already helped spread the word. You couldn't buy that kind of publicity. Well, maybe you could, but it'd be expensive. With the economy being what it is and budgets being pinched, perhaps other movies could benefit from being boycotted from various groups. Although it's unlikely any organization would have quite the opposite-effect clout as the Catholic church, here are 10 movie suggestions with their potential naysayers.

Beginning March 31, 20th Century Fox will be stripping every special feature from all of their rental DVDs in one of the stupidest and most desperate attempts to boost retail sales I've ever seen. Although it seems like it will vary a bit from title to title, and that the Blu-ray rentals for most movies will contain some special features (details are still to come), this is still idiotic in so many ways, besides even the obvious ones.

There must be some sort of Venn diagram which illustrates that the likelihood of a Hollywood actor to try his hand at rapping is directly proportional to how insufferable he is in other facets of his life. Let me give you an example: Did you know that Tom Green has released not one, but two hip hop albums? True story. By now you've probably seen the footage of Joaquin Phoenix onstage rapping (and promptly falling off the stage -- hee!) for some documentary Casey Affleck is producing about Phoenix's attempt to become a hip hopper. And just a couple days ago, Jim Carrey jumped up onstage with Fiddy Cent for no apparent reason.

Further developments were announced today on the progress of a film remake I had very much hoped would just go away, leaving me with the perfect cheesy mid-'80s kids' movie safely nestled in my memory along with catchy power ballads and squirt gum. Apparently, the Karate Kid remake is rolling along, with Jackie Chan joining the project as the new Mr. Miyagi. Therefore, I've decided to say to sweet fuck-all with the great memories, Hollywood -- why don't you just go and remake (and ruin) every film I hold dear? I know you're going to anyway. Here are a few films you could start with: