So has everyone recovered from Captain America getting cut from The Incredible Hulk? Well, there's some good news, unless you hate Leonardo DiCaprio. Apparently, Marvel wants Leo to play the title character in the upcoming Cap movie. At least, that's what the in-the-know Latinos at Latino Review are saying, and they seem to get the inside scoop on everything. I started to throw up in my mouth a little bit when I heard the news, but then I took another look at Leo. He's not boyish anymore, but he still looks wholesome, even optimistic most of the time. He might actually make a great Captain America. The only problem? He'll never do it.
Now, I'm pretty sure he likes comics. I know for a fact he likes 1980s G.I. Joe toys, and the two kinda go hand in hand. But why would he stoop to play the Sentinel of Freakin' Liberty when he's already played the guy who invented Atari? I mean, once you've played one American hero, you've played them all. (Speaking of American Heroes, I think Leo should have been in the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. He would have made a kickass Duke, to steal a phrase from Jack Black.) Also, DiCaprio has never been in a franchise, and if he's gonna play Cap, they're gonna want him to be in The Avengers.
Marvel's second choice for Captain America? Brad Pitt. Also an excellent choice. Both are head and tanned shoulders above Matthew McConaughey, the last rumored Captain America. But Pitt may be better in another role Marvel is eying him for: Thor. Picture a lusty Brad Pitt swinging a mallet, a la the sword-and-sandal wearing Achilles in Troy. Granted, the lofty dialogue and booming voice may require a dialect coach and a sound effects guy, but I think he could pull off the blonde mane and cavorting with wenches necessary for the job.
Worst-case scenario? Go get Vincent D'Onofrio, who played Thor-as-Auto-Mechanic in Adventures in Babysitting. Talk about your missed opportunities.