The Three Stooges are dead... long live the Three Stooges! After a feature film re-introducing the characters was announced a couple of years back by the Farrelly Brothers, the project fell into limbo, and the movie's high-profile cast -- Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro and Jim Carrey as Larry, Moe and Curly, respectively -- drifted away. Now, it's set up at a new studio, but it still needs a new batch of Stooges! Since we want to see this thing get made, for good or ill, we picked our brains to come up with actors in that general age range who could play the roles, then tried to come up with some younger alternatives, since the movie supposedly starts out showing them all as kids. Hey, the younger they are, the more hits they can take, and the more sequels they can make -- assuming this movie isn't a terrible, terrible idea. (It might be.)
Kevin Spacey as Moe
At the age of 51, the man has played a lot of laid-back roles, but he's also played some utter bastards (remember, the man was Lex Luthor in Superman Returns), and he can do impersonations of half of Hollywood. Scrunch the rubber-faced actor's smile into a scowl, give him a bowl cut and some old episodes to practice with, and you've got evil ringleader Moe.
Younger Alternative: Bill Hader. The 32-year-old Saturday Night Live star may be a little lanky, but I bet we could convince him to slouch to play a comedy legend.
Paul Giamatti as Larry
Between Sideways and American Splendor, Giamatti has made a career out of complaining, and it seems like Larry was always whining about getting picked on when he wasn't telling Moe and Curly to knock it off. Frizz Giamatti's naturally reddish hair out on the sides and he's the spitting image, which may be why so many people have suggested the 43-year-old for the role already.
Younger Alternative: James Franco. Given the 127 Hours star's apparent love of comedic material as well as risky projects, they should be able to convince the 32-year-old to sign up for the job script unseen.
Kevin James as Curly
Believe me, I don't want to encourage Kevin James (age 45) more than necessary, but the man is heavy, a gifted physical comedian, and I'd rather watch him get poked in the eye over and over by Spacey in this than try and do a one-man Stooges show in Paul Blart, or even convince me that he's married to Winona Ryder in The Dilemma.
(Slightly) Younger Alternative: Jack Black. I know, I know, but see James's qualifications above, and multiply them by two, and you can see why he would make a possibly even better Curly. And although he's only four years younger than James, he's still playing slacker thirtysomethings in movies like Gulliver's Travels, which makes him a better match for Hader and Franco.
How much do you hate the idea of this movie, or the casting of any/all of the above? Let the eye-gouging commence below! And check out our casting of other classic comedy teams!