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Who’s Got <i>Spirit</i>? Not Me.

I never wanted to be one of those dudes on the Internet who criticizes everything. Especially not someone who criticizes a comic book movie for being a less-than-faithful adaptation of the source material. Especially not someone who is basing their opinion on a 2-minute trailer for said movie. But what the hell is going on in Frank Miller's Spirit trailer? [It's been taken down, but presumably not for improvement.] I mean, seriously? We get it, you've got some hot actresses in your movie. But at what point does the film stop being an adaptation of Will Eisner's classic hero and start being a domino-mask-wearing version of The Bachelor?

I won't deny that the Spirit likes women -- he certainly gets flustered around them, and most of the crimes he gets caught up in have a stone-cold vixen involved. But it was rare that any case involved more than one of them (Commissioner Dolan's daughter-next-door, Ellen, doesn't count). And it's not like the guy was playing the field -- he may have let them off the hook a few times, but often he'd take them to the cops at the end of the case. So why are there four femmes fatale in the film? Silken Floss (Scarlett Johansson), Sand Saref (Eva Mendes), Lorelei Rox (Jaime King) and Plaster of Paris (Paz Vega) all sashay through this trailer like they're the whole point of the film. This isn't a crime scene anymore, it's a Victoria's Secret fashion show. (Yes, that's actually a complaint. I am clearly a sick man.)

Not that showing more of main Spirit baddie the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson) is a good idea, either. The great thing about the Octopus is that he was a mystery, like Blofeld in the old James Bond movies. You only ever saw his purple-gloved hands, and he controlled the rackets from the shadows. But there isn't a shadow big enough to hide Sam Jackson -- especially in that crazy fur get-up and eyeliner -- and definitely not when he's wielding those massive machine guns. Plus, he keeps pointing out the Spirit's obsession with women, when it's clearly not his fault that the director put so many of them in the film.

Speaking of which, if the mystery of the Octopus starts and ends here, what are they gonna do for the sequel? Not that I think this movie is necessarily going to spawn one, but is every installment going to have three or four ladies in addition to the lovely Miss Dolan? There are certainly plenty of characters left -- P'Gell is a big one, as is the unfortunately also silk-themed Silk Satin -- but since the movie is already wildly divergent, I suppose Miller can just invent more. He's already said in an interview that he didn't want to be slavishly beholden to the comic, but rather to create a world Eisner might have created if he were alive today. But if the movie's only hooks are Miller's style and the sexy actresses he can talk into showing their cleavage, that world may not be long for this one.

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