BLOGS

<i>Ghosts of Girlfriends Past</i>: Workin’ That McConaughey Movie Formula! This Friday marks the release of this year's annual crappy Matthew McConaughey rom-com Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (and further proof that my favorite lady in the world Jennifer Garner is trying to kill me -- kill me! -- with her terrible film choices). Though this time the plot doesn't seem to go near a beach, a water ski or a Kate Hudson, it is still the same crappy McConaughey movie we get every year. You can't fool anyone by dressing it up as just another unnecessary Christmas Carol remake, McConaughey. We are onto you! Let's examine the terrible evidence.

He's a womanizing manchild who is reformed by a quirky lady at the end.
Admittedly, this is a formula for many romantic comedies. The problem is, most of the recent ones star McConaughey. After Failure to Launch, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and now this, isn't he tired of making the same movie over and over? And why aren't people tired of paying 12 bucks to see them yet?

The obligatory shirtless scene.
It's played down in this trailer, but it is there. It has to be. These movies are all about star recognition, and McConaughey is known for three things and three things only: he looks good shirtless, he smokes a lot of weed, and he used to hang out with Lance Armstrong all the time. The shirtless thing is just the easiest one to write into mass appeal films.

Gahh, why always with the painful physical comedy?
Oh man, that cake scene. That cake scene!!! That thing was rough. More horrifying than the "you saved... my shoe" runaway dumpster scene from The Wedding Planner? I'm actually going to say that yes, yes it is. More horrifying than the "Where'd you learn to fly?" "Playstation!" [Crash!] water plane scene from Fool's Gold? No. Because nothing is.

McConaughey playing himself.
But less high, for the 50th time. Jennifer Garner, why??? Judge for yourself:



Oh, and speaking of McConaughey, he wants to be Captain America? Like, not just for Halloween or a stoner's comic book theme party or anything -- he wants to be Captain America in a movie. Eyyyyyyeroooolllllllll.

Your thoughts on the man, his abs, or his latest film? Leave 'em below.

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