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Trailers Without Pity: New Year's Eve

Last year, Garry Marshall gave everyone another reason to hate Valentine's Day by releasing the all-star romantic comedy, Valentine's Day, in which a bunch of obnoxious Angelenos had a variety of misadventures in that crazy little thing called love. The improbable success of that movie convinced Marshall that he should ruin another holiday, so here comes New Year's Eve, in which a bunch of obnoxious New Yorkers have a variety of misadventures while the big Times Square clock ticks down to midnight. Jeeze Garry, why'd you have to go and mess with a holiday we actually like?

In a strange move, some of the same players from Valentine's Day, including Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Biel, return for this flick but as different characters. In an attempt at authenticity, they're joined by actual New Yawkers like Sarah Jessica Parker, Robert De Niro and Lea Michele, who was a Broadway baby before she became the star attraction of a certain Midwestern high school glee club. We don't know about you, but we plan on ringing in the new year by avoiding New Year's Eve, which opens in theaters next Friday, like the plague. Our Trailers Without Pity team breaks down precisely why Marshall needs to be stopped before he turns us off another awesome day of rest like Labor Day or Independence Day.

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