It's difficult for me to give this trailer an unbiased review because there is a clause in my contract with life that says: "Any movie screened as a luxury on Big Brother is guaranteed to be a waste of your time. It will never be good. Don't even think about seeing it." Yes, the Big Brother houseguests will rave, but these are people who chose to live in a house with a bunch of strangers and no intellectual stimulation for 90 days. So, keep that in mind when you read what I'm about to say about What Happens in Vegas: Ick. Okay, granted, we get a glimpse of Floyd from 30 Rock, Lake Bell and Treat Williams to kick things off. But those are short-lived, and then we're stuck with all Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz all the time. And it's not pleasant. Apparently a very haggard-looking Cameron (seriously; high definition has ruined her for this world) was dumped by her boyfriend (Floyd), and Ashton's dad (Treat) fired him. So, of course, they both head to Vegas. Because ... what else do you do when you're down, right? While in Vegas, they meet, get drunk, hook up and get married. And then, before they part ways, he wins a huge payout at the slots. So, she suddenly wants to stay married to get her half of it. He wants a divorce. In court, judge Dennis Miller sentences them to marriage (because that happens all the time). So Ashton pulls out all the stops to try to get her to leave. He even pees in the sink, which seems to be the latest movie trend (this is not a good thing, I assure you). I'm going to go out on two limbs here: 1. They fall in love, and stay married. 2. This movie is not good.

Reviews by people who have actually seen it:
Variety
Rotten Tomatoes

This movie could be the next indie darling and, just like Juno, it even stars Ellen Page. On the other hand, it could be a huge mess. It's hard to tell from the trailer, because whoever put it together was trying too hard to play on the "fragments" half of the title, so we get a lot of many-times-split-screens with too many things going on to really follow. What we can figure out is that Tracey (Page) is looking for her 9-year-old brother, Sonny, and this leads her to some seriously dark and dangerous places. It's harder to tell how much of this is by choice, and how much of it she's being coerced or even forced into. It might be profound; it's definitely trying to be. Ellen Page is looking more Hard Candy than Juno here, though, so it's sure to be disturbing and might even scar you for life.

Reviews by people who have actually seen it:
Rotten Tomatoes

Are the Wachowski Brothers crazy geniuses, or just plain crazy? Speed Racer is a strong argument for the latter. First of all, this should be a kids' movie (or a movie for people who were kids when the cartoon was popular), but they seem to want us to take it somewhat seriously. It looks like a cartoon -- all bright primary colors -- but they also want us to feel like something big is at stake and Speed Racer's life is at risk or something. But, let's face it: Even if this movie weren't a completely CGI'ed Crayola advertisement, it would still be difficult to take anything seriously that has Emile Hirsch, Susan Sarandon, Matthew Fox and Christina Ricci in such ridiculous wardrobes and haircuts (not to mention some of the lines they have to utter, including Ricci's "Cool beans"). If the movie weren't cartoonish and the characters could be taken more seriously, there would still be the problem of our title character's name. My advice: When you turn a cartoon into a live-action film, maybe you should give your title character a real name so that you don't have to try to make viewers believe that people would actually call him "Speed" or "Speed Racer." I realize that people like Jason Lee name their kids Pilot Inspektor, but people in the non-Hollywood version of the real word are going to have a hard time buying into a guy being called Speed Racer. If you can put the many ridiculous concepts aside, or if you're a hard-core fan of the original Speed Racer, or, especially, if you are on some really good drugs, you're gonna love this.

Reviews by people who have actually seen it:
Variety
Rotten Tomatoes

The protagonist here is a guy (Tim Robbins) obsessed with silencing car alarms -- obsessed to the point of becoming a vigilante who bashes any car that has a car alarm (or is it only cars with alarms currently going off? It's hard to tell from the trailer). He gets arrested, his wife (Bridget Moynahan, a cellist, apparently) gets annoyed, he finds a younger girlfriend who worships his cause, he becomes a sort of hero, annoys the mayor (William Hurt in the ugliest wig in the history of the world; it's very Donald Trump, which begs the question: Why would anyone wear a wig that looks like that?), and basically has a mid-life crisis. I'm sure there is supposed to be a larger point to this movie. It is an indie, after all. But then again, this is a movie about a guy who hates car alarms. Could it really have much of a deeper meaning? Sometimes a stupid film concept is just a stupid concept. And sometimes it's obvious why certain scripts couldn't get money or backing from major studios and so were released as indies. What is less clear in this case is how they got a couple of Oscar winners (Robbins and Hurt) to sign on. If you figure it out, let me know.

Reviews by people who have actually seen it:
Hollywood Reporter
Rotten Tomatoes

We open with a freckled kid shooting a porcelain cat off his friend's head with a bow and arrow. Luckily, he's a good shot and doesn't, you know, shoot his friend in the face or anything. Then Freckles -- clearly the boss in this friendship -- tells the other kid he's making a film and that the friend gets to star in it. Hey, it beats getting shot in the face. Next thing we know, almost-shot-in-the-face friends is yelling into the camera, "I! Am the Son of Rambow!" I have no idea why Rambow is spelled that way other than maybe someone thought, "Well, how can we make it clear this is about kids?! Oh, kids can't spell, right? Let's use that!" Anyway, Freckles is confused: "You want to be the son of Rambow?!" Turns out Son of Rambow is the bad speller in question. It also turns out he's not supposed to be friends with Freckles because of Son of Rambow's religion. If he's friends with Freckles, he'll be in the worst trouble ever. But he's the Son of Rambow, so he throws caution to the wind and shows up at Freckles' house to finish their movie. It's really a dangerous little film. But everyone wants to be in it. Problem is Son of Rambow, whose name is Will, starts to take over and the friends start bickering. From the looks of this trailer, their little film involves Rambow, Son of Rambow, ninjas, rock stars, and lots of other random stuff that kids and teens might put into a self-made film. Lucky for us, their film within a film will probably make this a pretty delightful movie. At least, according to the trailer, every festival in the world seemed to think so.

Reviews by people who've actually seen it:

Variety
Hollywood Reporter
Rotten Tomatoes

Within the first 15 seconds of this trailer, you learn nearly that many things: There's a fight; Pay-Per-View is pulling back on promoting it; tickets aren't selling; Tim Allen's here; so is Joe Mantegna; and a couple of other semi-recognizable types. And then we find out it's a David Mamet film and all of the rest of it starts to make sense. Actually, it continues to not make sense, but now we at least know why it doesn't make sense: Mamet films are not easy to trailerize. It appears the star of the film is Serenity bad guy Chiwetel Ejiofor. He's a fight trainer, who's hard-up. We hear his fight instructions played over his own sorry existence. His rent check bounced as he says "There's always an escape." He gets in a bar fight with Tim Allen as he says, "Put the other guy down." Turns out Tim Allen is a movie star and calls Chiwetel in for a chat. Chiwetel gives his cool idea about fighting with an arm tied up to Tim and Joe, who take the idea and run. Chiwetel sues, using hotshot Emily Mortimer as his attorney. But it's still building, building, building to Chiwetel showing up at their fight to expose them, and take them down. As they try to stop him he says, "There is no situation you cannot escape." Which probably means he's going to fight. Maybe even with one arm tied. But I'm guessing he's still going to beat the slimy older guys.

Reviews by people who've actually seen it:

Rolling Stone
Hollywood Reporter
Rotten Tomatoes

This little indie film is directed by and starring Helen Hunt. And so I wanted to hate it, because I always want to hate when an actor decides to take his or her first stab at directing, and also decides to star in the movie. But this one actually looks decent. The trailer is subtle and revealing in the right ways. Plus, we get Hunt (even if she is playing 39 here, which I'm not buying; and, for the record, neither is IMDb) acting alongside Matthew Broderick (her husband, who leaves her early in the film), Colin Firth (who swoops in to win her over when said husband leaves) and Bette Midler (her birth mother who she gets to know over the course of the film). The gist is that April (Hunt) wants to have a baby, but she's getting older, and then her husband leaves her. She meets Colin Firth right away and really likes him, but then her husband calls and they have a one-night stand ("break-up sex," according to Bette, who is full of inappropriate wisdom for her newly found daughter). Needless to say, April ends up pregnant by the break-up sex, but a reconciliation is not in the cards. She wants to be with Colin. So, it's one of those triangles that is going to pretty much stay that way forever, and it's going to work out cutely and quirkily. Which, I know, that never happens in real life, but at least it's not a totally traditional rom-com, right? Or is it? Maybe they disguised it as an indie and filled it with people like Firth, Broderick and Midler just to fool people like me into seeing it. Well, it worked.

Reviews by people who have actually seen it:
Entertainment Weekly
Hollywood Reporter
Rotten Tomatoes

What a surprise. Patrick Dempsey plays something of a cad in this movie. His name is "Tom," and he has many "girlfriends." Which probably isn't an apt description of what these women are -- they're one-night stands, flings, girls who write their phone numbers on disposable coffee cup sleeves; you know the type. The point is, he can get anyone he wants. Write that down; it will be important later. But Tom also has lots of guy friends. They are "guy friends" because they play basketball with him and they all make fun of -- and find excuses not to play with -- the less-cool guys who come to the gym. It's so nice to see men in movies have evolved past junior high antics like making fun of "tiny shorts guy." Turns out, though, Tom has only one "best friend." A woman, of course. And a pretty one. He can sleep with whomever he wants, but Hannah's his one constant in life. Then she heads to Scotland for six weeks and, as men in romantic comedies often do, he realizes what he could have had only when it's almost too late. So, he hatches a plan to tell her he wants to be with her upon her return to the States. But, of course, she comes back engaged, to Journeyman and Rome star Kevin McKidd. Hannah wants Tom to be her maid of honor, and you know what that means? It's My Best Friend's Wedding all over again, where he tries to be supportive while secretly longing to be with her himself. And the woman is completely clueless apparently, because she goes so far as to have a lingerie fashion show for Tom to help her choose something to wear on her wedding night (yeah, not even Victoria's Secret models do lingerie fashion shows for their friends, regardless of gender). Tom throws Hannah a shower and his meathead "guy friends" think the potpourri is snack mix and eat it. So funny! Except that it's not. Then he's introduced to the priest as the maid of honor and he gets a very conciliatory, "It's okay to be gay" hug. We all know that Dermot Mulroney chose crème brulee over Jell-O in the end of My Best Friend's Wedding, but this one is feeling a little more predictable than that.

This trailer almost makes me too giddy to even think straight, let alone to write about it. I mean, come on: It's a dream come true for anyone who's followed Robert Downey Jr.'s career -- not to mention his life -- to see him get a plum role like this one. Not because he necessarily deserves it, but because he's certainly worked for it. Usually superhero roles come to you earlier in life, but this is no typical superhero movie. The trailer starts with rock music in the desert -- looks like it must be Iraq, or some other desert nation in which our troops are stationed. Downey Jr. is a genius weapons designer/arms dealer over there to demonstrate and sell some new technology. All does not go well, though, as he is taken prisoner, presumably so that he can build them some sort of amazing weapons. Instead, he builds himself a magical mask that makes him a superhero, helping him escape. He gets back home, but don't worry: He isn't ready to stop being a superhero. He keeps designing cool stuff for his alter ego, and gets to say cool superhero lines like, "Yeah ... I can fly," in the most nonchalant manner. There's also a seriously evil-looking Jeff Bridges, who's both bald and bearded. I'm not sure what it is about transporting the hair from his head to his chin that makes him the scariest thing ever, but it does. So, Iron Man: He's totally a new breed of superhero. And the best part? He wears armor instead of tights, so he doesn't have to overcompensate in order to look truly kick-ass.

Reviews by people who've actually seen it:

Richard Roeper
Variety
Rotten Tomatoes

This one's from Harmony Korine, the wonderfully weird director who brought us Kids, Gummo, and Julien Monkey Boy. It starts out strong, with a Michael Jackson and a Marilyn Monroe impersonator sitting at a table together. No, it's not the setup to a joke. It's really how the trailer starts. She says, very seriously, "How long have you been Michael?" He guesses he was born this way. She's been Marilyn since she first got her boobs. She invites him to her magical world where everyone is famous. On closer look, it turns out Michael is Diego Luna, from Y Tu Mama Tambien, and Marilyn's played by Samantha Morton. In her magical world of impersonators, Michael falls somewhat in love with Marilyn (even though she's married to Charlie Chaplin with a Shirley Temple child). There are colorful costumes, circus acts and nuns jumping out of airplanes, so if nothing else, this movie's going to provide you with more visual stimulation than most anything else you've seen in awhile.

Reviews by people who've actually seen it:

Rotten Tomatoes