While I have been known to enjoy the occasional musical, I have never been able to breach the cultural divide that keeps me from renting and sitting through your standard Bollywood picture. The music never appealed to me, the synchronized line dancing was too over-the-top. But now that this Bollywood martial-arts film is coming out, I may have to attempt it. After all, I made it through Kung Fu Hustle, and this looks like almost the exact same movie (with a little Beverly Hills Ninja thrown in). Both have small towns threatened by hat-wearing thugs, both have chosen ones who return to defend them, and both have a lot of synchronized dancing. (The scenes of the hero in 1930s gangster clothes are particularly familiar.) Of course, Stephen Chow didn't shave off a mustache to effect his transformation from sad sack to kung-fu champion in KFH, but I'm pretty sure he shaved his scruffy beard at some point. And I have to say, the transformation of the main character in the trailer, from mustachioed buffoon to stubbly action hero, is pretty dramatic, as is the main actress's transformation between her Chinese and Indian characters. It makes me wonder how long the movie is to squeeze in all of the training, love stories, set pieces and musical numbers. I'll get ready for a long night.

Reviews by People Who've Actually Seen It:
Rotten Tomatoes

I'd like to preface this review by saying that if Don Cheadle is being referred to as the star of the upcoming feature Hotel for Dogs by the Golden Globes announcer, he might as well hang up his acting ... uh .... assless chaps? Or whatever you wear when you're a serious actor.

My favorite thing so far about The Unborn is that the official site prominently features a gadget to "Create a TERRIFYING personalized possession video for your friends." Because, you know, nothing shows your friends you care like scaring the crap out of them.

In an effort to make the various MWOP blogs as easy-to-keep-track-of as possible, "Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen Yet" is being folded into the Moviefile, making it your one-stop-shopping destination for all things motion-picturesque! New postings will be filed under the "Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen Yet" category name, so you can still find what you're looking for easily, but all of the older unseen movie reviews will be archived here in the old blog. So if you ever want to look up our pre-emptive review of Beverly Hills Chihuahua, just come back here. Otherwise, here's where to go:

Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen Yet in the Moviefile

I'm a little wary when I read the words "uplifting drama" and "adapted from the book by renowned pastor and author Bishop T.D. Jakes" -- because what I read is "sap" and "religious sap" -- so Not Easily Broken starts out a couple paces behind for me even before I've seen the trailer.

It's sort of hard to believe Anne Hathaway went from Rachel Getting Married to Bride Wars, isn't it? She's been getting all sorts of Oscar buzz, but Bride Wars might have the same effect Norbit had for Eddie Murphy (remember: He was nominated for an Oscar for Dreamgirls, but Norbit came out in the lead-up to the Oscars and no one remembered why he was nominated in the first place). As if it weren't bad enough that she's been through this terrible public break-up this year and now has to pose on magazine covers in a wedding dress, it also might ruin her chances at an Oscar. No fair! Except, well, she did choose to be in the stinker, so there's no one to blame but poor little Anne herself.

Yonkers Joe is a mob film starring a lot of Oscar nominees who you've either a) not heard of or b) never realized they were Oscar nominees. So, you know, high-profile. The most high-profile person in the film is Chazz Palminteri followed closely by Christine Lahti. This is supposedly an "exciting, high-stakes con film" and a "moving family drama" (really? Can you be both?).

Good stars Viggo Mortensen and Jason Isaacs, so it must be some sort of action film about guys beating each other up, or killing people, or something. You know, one of them noble (Viggo), and one of them bad (Jason). That's exactly what would be expected with this casting, but it's entirely incorrect. It's actually, judging by the trailer, another World War II Nazi film (does it seem there's been an overabundance of them lately?).

How does Daniel Craig have time to make the Bond movies and now Defiance, too? I don't know how he does it, but I do know it's a good thing he does. No one else these days seems to be quite so ruggedly, broodingly handsome. He's the kind of actor who you don't know whether to covet or fear -- and I mean that as a compliment, okay? He's both badass and hot. And he makes damn good career choices. Case in point? Defiance , which is dark and sad and breath-taking.

Maybe it's because I've never read the comics, but there aren't many things in the world that look worse to me than The Spirit does. I really don't think it's about me not reading the comics either, because it just looks like it has the most terrible dialogue in the history of film. (Yes, I'm saying this in a world with Keanu Reeves.) It's like this movie wants to be 300 and Sin City, but is failing miserably. Mainly because it's trying to be something else, and those movies were both so original and innovative.