Because Adam Sandler doesn't look goofy enough already, for You Don't Mess With the Zohan, they gave him the most ridiculous haircut since the mullet -- and then we're expected to buy that he's a hairdresser. In Israel. Uh, okay, but why? Oh, wait, let's start at the beginning. See, the worst part is that there are two trailers for this movie, and I suffered through both of them so that none of you have to (just hit fast-forward if it comes up on your DVR, and don't arrive at any movie early until this one's safely out of theaters). Between the two trailers, we discover that Zohan is the greatest soldier Israel's ever seen. He can catch bullets with his fingers, kick through brick walls and swim like a dolphin fast enough to catch a speeding boat. So, this is really sort of a superhero movie, see? And it's also sort of making fun of Israeli soldiers. And hair stylists. Or is it? With Sandler, it's hard to tell what is making fun and what is just stupidity, after all. But this amazing soldier decides to leave the army to cut and style hair. It's a common dilemma for soldiers, I'm thinking. Probably especially so in Israel. As always happens in Sandler movies, Rob Schneider shows up in an inappropriate role. And it's more than a little racist. And, of course, stupid. People love his ridiculous haircuts, but his old life does come back to haunt him. After all, as the old proverb goes: You can't hide from your past by becoming a hairstylist. Or something. Unfortunately, the world also can't hide from Sandler's past, present, or future. I was very hopeful when he did Punch Drunk Love and even Spanglish but now he's back to the mind-numbing idiocy (and horrible hair) we haven't seen the likes of since Little Nicky.