The first thing I noticed about Babylon A.D. is how it's trying to capitalize on the buzz and subsequent success of The Dark Knight with that poster. You know the one: Slightly slanted Vin Diesel walks through the dark streets of New York. Sort of looks like a certain poster for The Dark Knight with a slanty Joker standing menacingly in the dark streets of Gotham (a.k.a. New York). So, yeah, nice try Babylon A.D., but Vin Diesel is no Heath Ledger, and your movie is definitely no Dark Knight. Don't believe me? Try watching the trailer without laughing. Said trailer tries its damndest to be menancing but ends up a combination of embarrassingly funny and nausea-inducing (and not just because of the way-too-fast-moving action sequences that mean nothing in the trailer's context).
The trailer opens with Vin Diesel's voiceover that I'm almost too embarrassed to type: "Save the planet. What for? Life's simple: Kill or be killed. A survivor's code. My code. It all sounds great until the day you find yourself confronted by a choice -- a choice to make a difference or to walk away and save yourself. I learned something that day. Too bad it was the day I died." Um, okay, Vin. Then we get strains of the Kronos Quartet's amazing Requiem for a Dream music, which is way too good for this trailer, and also overplayed to a point that I've almost started to hate it. The moral of this story seems to be: Vin Diesel is a troubled hero. He's angry, aggressive, tattooed and hot. It's, like, the end of the world or something, but he still has time for some sweet lovin' with a pretty young thing. You know the type? Typical action-movie hero.