A bit of advice for whoever put together the trailer for Everybody Wants to Be Italian: Leading with a bloated, overly tan, thickly accented, silicone-lipped Penny Marshall (who manages to make things even worse when she speaks: "You make me wanna vomit with this girl.") might not send the message you're trying to send about your movie. Unless, that is, you are trying to tell people to pretend this movie does not exist, which is what I am trying to do right now. It doesn't get a lot better from there, what with the "homophiliac." "You mean hemophiliac?" joke and the way all of the actors are portraying Italian Americans as over-the-top, ridiculous stereotypes. And there's the main story line, in which a young guy named Jake is torn between two girls. One is more Italian than the other, apparently, so all of his over-the-top Italian mentors want him with the more Italian one. The problem with it is that both girls look the same, so in the trailer, unless you pay particularly close attention (and remember how they led with Penny Marshall? Yeah, you won't be paying close attention), you'll wonder why there is confusion because it looks like he's only with one girlfriend. Yet another reason not to watch the movie. And if you need a final one, here you go: The movie's website compares it to My Big Fat Greek Wedding. If the best comparison you can get is a no-longer-relevant, overrated movie that everyone forgot years ago, your movie is probably going nowhere.

Reviews By People Who've Actually Seen It:
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