The question about Marley & Me is who will be the best actor: Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, or the dog? I'm thinking, honestly, the dog. Don't get me wrong: I love Jen. I'm mostly Team Aniston all the way. But as for her acting? Well, she's not exactly Angelina Jolie, if you know what I'm saying. And Owen Wilson? Well, he's pretty much always Owen Wilson, which is enjoyable sometimes, but again: not acting. The dog, though? Judging by the trailer, they make that dog act like a truly horrifying terror, all chewing things up and jumping in pools and on furniture, etc., etc., I mean, that is acting, right? For a dog? To jump on stuff and chew stuff up? Oh, right. So, okay, acting-wise, this movie is probably not going to shine all that bright, but it will be the number one movie of the week when it comes to cute, fuzzy puppy faces. And cute, fuzzy grown-up dog faces. Those are a couple of things that probably provide a lot more unadulterated joy than acting anyway, right? If that weren't the case, how would we explain Shiba Inu Puppy Cam? But, seriously, cute or not, we must talk about that terrible tagline: "This Christmas, heel the love." Because ... no. Just don't. Words that rhyme do not necessarily -- or even often -- make good puns. Please stop, movie marketing people.

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