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A.K.A. The Plant

And then, to a location with more disrobing than robing: an Asian massage parlour. Which Andy has taken Shane to. Of course. As they sit in the waiting room (with a straitlaced businessdude in a suit reading the Financial Times, hee), Shane asks what happens if the girl doesn't like him. Andy says that he gave her a nice big tip, so she will. Shane asks if he's "getting one" too, and Andy says that he has a date later: "Of course I'm getting one." He explains that it's impossible to stay cool when you're "backed up," and off the businessdude's dirty look, he cracks, "Nice wedding ring, by the way." A lovely, buxom Asian lady appears and asks who's next. Andy indicates Shane and says that it's his birthday. The comfort lady refuses to work on a little boy. Andy tries pleading that he's been saving his allowance, but when the practitioner sticks to her guns, Andy calls for Rhea, the madam. A little old lady in a velour tracksuit comes out, giving Andy a big hug. Andy tells Rhea that "Miss Saigon" is turning down work. Miss Saigon says that Shane's a little boy. Rhea prompts Andy to say that Shane's eighteen years old, and has a glandular problem, but Miss Saigon doesn't buy it. Rhea says that if her associate won't perform, there's nothing she could do: "Arthritis," she says, miming the signature motion. Andy's like, "What if--" "Gingivitis," she replies. Ha! Rhea takes off...and Shane starts bawling. Miss Saigon is moved, trying to shut him up by clowning like you would to a baby, but when she gets no results, she relents that she'll take care of him. Shane perks up in a hurry...

...and moments later emerges from the boudoir, a huge smile on his face. Oh, WRONG. Yet, funny. Andy congratulates him on the crying gambit. It is quite effective, I have to say.

Nancy returns home in time to see Silas heading out to see Megan. Nancy apologizes to Lupita for taking all her cleaning supplies, and Lupita fake-complains that Nancy should ask first, because Lupita couldn't get anything done. She asks what Nancy was cleaning, anyway, and Nancy claims it was a homeless shelter: "Made me feel good." Andy and Shane return home, and Nancy complains that he was supposed to help her clean "the homeless shelter." Andy goes along with the ruse, but says he was doing his own good works. Shane, still grinning, says that he has to go take a nap. Nancy asks about their movie date, but Shane condescends, "Mom. I'm tired." "Sweet dreams," says Andy. Oh, I think that's a given. Nancy realizes that she's been stood up, but Andy says he has a date. Nancy shoots Lupita a sidelong glance, apparently decides she wouldn't e the greatest possible company...

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