Bridezillas
Angela & Shelayna

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The Bridezilla Who Wasn't

Angela says she just wants to look good and doesn't care if anything else goes wrong. Mindy I think is trying to make this sound like a fault, but wanting to look good on your wedding day doesn't seem like an irrational wish. (Oh my god, what if I'm bridezilla material and I don't even know it?) Two weeks before the wedding, she's in the car and is genuinely upset as she talks about having a phone conversation with one of her bridesmaids who says that she's not coming.

Angela walks into a dressmaker and Mindy tells us, "Having decided a wedding dress wasn't enough to get the attention she craves, Angela has also purchased a separate dress for the reception." Angela tries it on and says, "This is a hot momma dress!" She's not wrong -- it's a white silk sheath with a plunging back and spaghetti straps, and she looks fabulous. I also had another friend who did the same thing with a separate reception dress, and I strongly suspect this is cultural and just a desperate attempt to find something 'zilla-ish about her, rather than a blatant plea for even more attention than she's already be getting on her own wedding day. Also, it bears repeating that there's no harm in wanting to look amazing on her own wedding day. She's cute as she talks about wanting the crowd to part and ooh and aah at her dress, and then there's a shot of her mentioning she clearly can't eat for the next two weeks as she looks at herself in the mirror. No, the satin she is unforgiving, but Angela is rocking it.

Oh YES. Nothing says high-class affair like a Hummer limo. Factzilla tells us that, "in Texas, 19% of brides use a wedding planner." Thanks, Factzilla. But is that a lot or a little? With no context, this is just pointless.

It's one month until Shelayna's wedding, and that day Bart is banned from the house so that she and the womenfolk can work on her dress. She has a hoop skirt, but it has sort of deflated and she needs to fix it up. My best friend wore a hoop skirt under her dress, and it's kind of brilliant since it keeps you cooler than a petticoat when you're getting married outside at 3 PM in a city hotter than the surface of the sun, but I'm kind of confused by all of the poofy hoo-ha that seems to also be attached. I guess it's true that everything's bigger in Texas. The hoop itself needs to be downsized, and so the family went to Lowe's to get some new pipe. Now in the dress, Shelayna tells her mom, "The hacksaw is outside on the BBQ pit." Well, naturally, that's where everyone keeps the hacksaw. One of the women proceeds to saw off the end of the pipe, while it is still sticking out from underneath her wedding gown. Ladies, don't you want her to take it off first? Don't we generally want to keep saws away from people and expensive gowns? Or maybe those are just my crazy California sensibilities.

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Bridezillas

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