We're in Atlanta, the last audition stop. People here seem to be complaining about the cold here too. What is cold in Georgia? Everything's relative, I suppose. I just have such a hard time watching people shivering and wrapping themselves in blankets when there's green grass and leaves on the trees.
Anyway, Shane Sparks is back with Mary and Nigel for the Hotlanta auditions.
Caitlin Cucchiara, 18, from Rochester, just turned 18 two weeks ago, so you know Nigel's going to like her. She does some lyrical dancing. "You were absolutely superb," says Nigel; Shane says he loves her, and Mary says she's terrific, so she's going straight through to Vegas. "So it would be pretty stupid of us not to give you a ticket to go to Vegas," says Nigel. Ha ha! Can you ever imagine the judges on this show doing something stupid?
"Snappy dresser" (this is sarcastic) Chris Crabb, 28, of Port Royal, SC, is obsessed with N'Sync. He has a shrine to Justin Timberlake in his bedroom. He's not sure he should be admitting that to people. He's only "not sure"? He also recently saw Timberlake in concert, and cried when Timberlake came out. Nigel stops his lyrical routine and asks a couple of questions about the choreography. Mary says it was just Movement 101, it did nothing for Shane, and Nigel wants to know where the passion was. Chris blabbers on about trying to reach a certain plane. Outside, he says he wants to know that passion is different for everyone. Yes, it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. Not that this show doesn't have a strange undercurrent of homophobia (strange, given that it's about dancing, after all), but I'm not sure that's at play here. At first I thought so, until I realized that I'd be just as creeped out by a 28-year-old woman with a shrine to Justin Timberlake in her bedroom.
Breaker Tony Velez, 20, of Cleveland starts to lecture us on how it's called B-boying, not breakdancing. But he's just playing! His routine's really good. He flips over. Shane says Tony's going to be his best friend on the show, and Tony and Shane talk all "street" for a while, much to the consternation of Nigel and Mary, who then pretend to leave the stage, and Shane moves over a chair to show how unnecessary Mary and Nigel actually are. Tony's through to Vegas.
Brandon Norris, 22, of Winfield, AB, is a clogger. Me too, which is why I keep a plunger right by the toilet. In case being from Alabama doesn't automatically stereotypically make this guy a hillbilly, this show helpfully plays some banjo music. He clogs, I guess, which is a lot like tapping, plus some hip-hop stuff thrown in. Nigel calls his clogging fantastic, and Mary agrees, telling him to stick to that. Shane now wants to do a clogging movie, and Nigel instantly steals my You Got Clogged! joke! Only, being British, he's careful to say, You've Been Clogged.