Apprentice
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Lesson Seven: If You Can't Say Anything Well…

Alla's like, "Dude, if you had only heard the way that we tried to extract the information out of Markus! Just conceptualizing his topic, he kept talking in circles! He couldn't even bring it into one concept! We couldn't even understand what he was saying!"

Clay: "That's true."
Adam: "Totally true."
Felisha: "It's all true."
Markus: "That's not true."
Everybody involved, including millions of viewers: "Oh my God!"

Markus continues fluffernutting all over: "The team had come up with a group of ideas that they wanted to pitch and I saw a certain value of getting leverage on your time…" Trump goes, "You're not speaking very well today," and Markus tangents off to explain that too, and Trump's like, "You are usually somewhat intelligible, just unable to shut up, but tonight you sound crazy -- you've got marbles in your mouth!"

Carolyn angles in on what the hell he actually did do in contribution, and his response is gorgeous: "My role was at first off I felt like the interactivity with the audience given the in my opinion the lack of the educational value was key to try to get some goodwill from the crowd," and Carolyn starts laughing immediately. George gets a little frustrated, asking him to answer any of the questions he's been asked, starting with why the team lost, and Markus says, "Okay. [silence] Is the question why did we lose?" Carolyn's all, "Yes. God!" and Felisha giggles some more. So cute. "I think that it was an ill-conceived project, I think that Adam's management of it, as far as my involvement, this guy was on me every five minutes, you're not doing this right, you're not doing that right…" So the task failed because you were unmanageable, then. Got it. Nicely done, sir. Trump's bored, and asks Adam for his two people, and of course they're Clay and Markus. Clay's not that surprised, but makes a pissy face for the practice, and Markus makes a horrifically ugly and stupid face that I can't read.

Outside, Clay's sitting pissily on the couch, his body language no less dangerous than the sound of an enraged rattlesnake...and Markus sits right down next to him, oblivious as all hell, with an uppity look, and Adam is standing around awkwardly and still looking like he's going to vomit. Inside, George thinks Clay was the worst, because he was "totally insensitive as to what he was doing" and that "the key of a good executive is sensitivity to people," with which Trump and I agree, and sidesteps the whole PC issue altogether, because what Clay was in the presentation, first and foremost, was awful. Trump is pro-Adam, sensing something "solid" about him, and "some good strengths." I agree as well. Trump is utterly bugged by Markus's yakking pointlessness, and Carolyn cuts to a more important issue, his predilection for doing nothing, bitching about everything, and giving himself the "I told you so" option. She seems to see it as a strategy, though, rather than a chronic disorder that explains everything that's wrong with him. The three fellows return to the Boardroom as awkwardly as possible (and as angrily, given what a non-threatening group of wusses they are), and Trump hits us with some horrors.

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Apprentice

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